After my first book was published in 2000, I spent two and a half years writing a novel. But it never felt right. I didn't even name it—it was the poor, misshapen beast child I kept hidden under my bed. Then I showed it to my agent. "None of the things you do well are in evidence here," she said. I was devastated, then relieved: I had failed, and now I could stop. If you don't feel a shiver of excitement or fear, if there's no emotional risk involved, let it go. You can't discount how hard it will be to leave your bad marriage or stop writing your bad book, but if you're unhappy, nothing can get better as long as the status quo stays the status quo.
The process of attraction happens at the level of what we feel and believe, and when you don’t set standards and boundaries, this shows you don’t feel very good about yourself, and that you have a lot of crappy beliefs that essentially amount to not feeling good enough, and not being deserving of the best life has to offer. These types of beliefs can mess with various aspects of our life, but can be particularly problematic in the love department. And guess what types of people and situations we attract when we feel this way? Shitty, shitty, shitty ones.
But this is the one step that many people get caught up on. They can’t seem to overcome their tendencies to procrastinate and waste time with other pursuits that don’t help to advance their progress towards their goals. For one reason or another, they get distracted, veer off course, and almost entirely lose interest in something they thought they once wanted so badly.
It’s quite clear that success has nothing to do with our initial set of circumstances. Some of the most poor and disadvantaged people in the world have achieved the greatest successes of all time. Oprah Winfrey was born to a single mother on welfare and was physically and sexually abused as a child. J.K. Rowling was divorced, had a daughter, and was living on government assistance before publishing the first book in the Harry Potter series.