4) No Plan: If the best way for me to achieve my goals is to live as if I’ve already achieved them, then there is no reason to make further plans to do so! Making plans shows the universe that you doubt its ability and lack faith. Doubt is negative and you will then attract more negative and not get your desired item. In the book The Secret, Jack Canfield proposed, “Our job is not to figure out the how.” “…trust that the Universe will figure out how to manifest it.” Studies show that this way of thinking results in greater short term satisfaction, but less motivation and lower chance of achieving goals. Curious that Jack Canfield’s website sells a program to teach you how to make an “Action Plan.”
Last year, my relationship ended suddenly. In hindsight, I had fears about abandonment and deservability, and I now see that these were limiting beliefs that colored my reality. Over the past year, I have worked on healing myself from the inside out and am incredibly proud of how I have grown. There has been no drama, just a quiet respect that if he felt that he needed space to grow and evolve, I loved him enough to let him go. While contact has been minimal, I still wake up each day with a smile and a heart filled with love and promise. He is with me even though we are apart; and I have hope beyond my current reality that our paths will cross again, and comfort and peace in that certainty.
Thank so much chitownblu! You’re right that getting rid of resistance and attachment are key. Tapping works well for this. Also, remember to focus on what you want. You descussed that you’re aware your desire has not manifested. That’s living from a point of what is, not from what you want. You’re giving energy to creating more of what you don’t want by doing this. It could also be a factor in things not attracting your specific person as your vibration is closer to alignment with not being with him, than being with him.
When you do find yourself meeting with someone, don’t pin all your hopes on this person being the ‘one.’ You really don’t even know him yet, and you have no idea if this person is really compatible with you, or is the type of person you would want to be with over the long-term. Sure, you can be excited, and look forward to it, but release any expectation around how things will play out. Work on getting yourself into a state of ‘surrender’ where you just accept what happens as it happens, knowing all the while, what you want is coming, even if you have no idea how that looks right now.
After my first book was published in 2000, I spent two and a half years writing a novel. But it never felt right. I didn't even name it—it was the poor, misshapen beast child I kept hidden under my bed. Then I showed it to my agent. "None of the things you do well are in evidence here," she said. I was devastated, then relieved: I had failed, and now I could stop. If you don't feel a shiver of excitement or fear, if there's no emotional risk involved, let it go. You can't discount how hard it will be to leave your bad marriage or stop writing your bad book, but if you're unhappy, nothing can get better as long as the status quo stays the status quo.
How is that one person is willing to do all that it takes to reach their goals, while another person gives in to silent resignation at the first sign of resistance? Why is one person willing to sacrifice nearly everything in order to live the life of their dreams, while others are too afraid to take the next step in fear of suffering through a catastrophic failure or embarrassment?
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