4) Making Room for Love. I want you to be honest and answer this question:  As your life is today, do you have the time and energy for a deep, loving, healthy relationship?  Do you have room in your life for your Soulmate? Perhaps, since you’ve been single you’ve been working late hours, and have very little free time to go out on dates.  Or perhaps you’ve been accumulating a few “friends with benefits” who are keeping you sexually satisfied.  Or perhaps you’re so focused on helping others that you leave no room for yourself.

Deal-breaker items could include: if the person has some form of alcohol or substance addiction or abuse, if they are married or in another relationship, if they are physically or verbally abusive, and even if they smoke.  For some people, smoking is not a big deal, but for me, I just can’t stand kissing someone after they’ve had a smoke, so I decided to include it in my deal-breaker list.  What are your deal- breakers? All you need is three.


Besides, luck, being in the right place at the right time often makes a big difference – which is why you should be willing to try and try again, learning how to endure failure. That’s the third secret of success, according to Scott Adams, author of How to Fail at Almost Everything And Still Win Big. “There is plenty of luck to go around; you just need to keep your hand raised until it’s your turn,” argues Adams. “If you drill down into any success story, you always discover that luck was a huge part of it. You cannot control luck, but you can move from a game with bad odds to one with better odds. You can make it easier for luck to find you. The most useful thing you can do is stay in the game. If your current get-rich project fails, take what you learned and try something else. Keep repeating until something lucky happens.”
The problem was, after a couple of months I forgot about the secrets and they fell by the wayside. And so did my actions towards my goals. At the time the articles 7 Ways to Grow the Action Habit or How To Motivate Yourself – Self Motivation didn’t exist and I lost my motivation. Well, I re-discovered the list and want to share it with you now. I hope you take these not-so-secret, secrets to heart and realize your dreams – whatever they may be.
When you understand the law of attraction works by delivering you experiences that you are a match to now energetically, you come to realize the importance of feeling good now, and not putting all your focus on the undesirable bits of "what is." This doesn't mean pretending to be okay with things you don't like, but actually adopting a different perspective, and actually feeling better.

Another issue that really causes resistance in the realm of relationships is finding love is so incredibly important to us. We are really attached to this manifestation; we are terrified of being alone, and it never happening. It is hard to just sit back and relax, knowing the Universe has got this. We are constantly noticing our single status, and lamenting it.
10) Blame Yourself: As the LOA is supposed to be a perfect, universal law, positivity should ALWAYS attract more positivity. The corollary of this is that you alone are completely responsible for any goal that was not successfully achieved, no matter how unrealistic the goal. This assumes that you not only control your thoughts and actions, but also those of everyone around you…and nature. The fact is, that you don’t. Sorry to break that to you.
With that said, the primary error of “The Secret” / law of attraction is its view, or lack thereof, of God. In the law of attraction, God, if He even exists, is nothing more than a universal energy force that we manipulate by our thoughts and feelings. The law of attraction assumes a pantheistic (God is everything) view of God. The Secret denies the ideas of a personal God (with thoughts, feelings, and emotions) and a sovereign God (omnipotent and omniscient, perfectly in control of everything). The core message of “The Secret” is that we are in control of our own destiny. God knows the truth to be very different, “…All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16). Nebuchadnezzar, the greatest king of ancient Babylon and a prime candidate for someone who would know “The Secret,” declared, “Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified Him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; His kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as He pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back His hand or say to Him: ‘What have you done?’” (Daniel 4:34-35).
Trust the Universe. Imagine an alternate dimension that is almost exactly like the real world but whatever you truly desire comes true in an instant. See yourself in that dimension, where whatever you ask the Universe for comes to you in an instant. Don't look for what you asked for; this is where people tend to mess up. If you have to keep an eye out for an event that manifests your wish, it's only telling the Universe you don't have it, and you will attract not having it.
Be sure to start this list by stating whether if your Soulmate is single, straight/gay (yes, you must be that specific) and available for a healthy, loving, committed, long-term relationship (or marriage if that is what you want.) Also, be sure to include that he or she lives close enough to you, and/or is willing to relocate if necessary for the two of you to be together. It is very important that you do not get too attached to this list, but rather release it by saying to yourself, “I welcome this, or something better!”
True love is all about being caring about each others needs and desires. Love is affectionate, virtuous, passionate and sweet. But, no matter how you define love, if your relationship lacks support and care, it’s not love. Love is about being with each other during all phases of life – good or bad. Caring is the first and most common trait of being in “Love”.

Worry is a lower vibrational energy and can unintentionally create the very things you don’t want to create, such as him pulling away. If you look back over events, you might notice how things you’ve been worrying about have now been created, and how problems may have begun around the time you started worrying. You wouldn’t have had to say anything to him. The Law of Attraction works whether you want it to or not. The key is to focus on feeling good, doing things that make you happy. That’s the place from which you can create what you want.
the trouble is in the mind, for the body is only the house for the mind to dwell in, and we put a value on it according to its worth. Therefore if your mind has been deceived by some invisible enemy into a belief, you have put it into the form of a disease, with or without your knowledge. By my theory or truth, I come in contact with your enemy and restore you to your health and happiness. This I do partly mentally and partly by talking till I correct the wrong impressions and establish the Truth, and the Truth is the cure.[11]

Hi Shona, If you want to successfully use the Law of Attraction for love for a specific person, you need to overcome your fear. Your thoughts and emotions create, so if you continue to be afraid, you will create the things that you fear – his cheating, his not wanting to commit, etc. Sometimes the easiest way to overcome fear is to think about the worst thing that would happen if things didn’t go the way you want them. Often, that worst fear isn’t all that bad, and it’s easy to then let the fear go. Other times, it might be necessary to use tapping or EFT to get rid of the fear.
Instead I have been able to approach life in a different way. Learning to be thankful for the things I keep om receiving everyday, such as: The love of my kids, my friends, the overall experience in my journey and of course I have been throught bad ones and good ones. But all of those experience are an invaluable treasure to me. So dont assume everyone wants to attract the things you mentioned before.
Let me say what I mean by success: success is the ability of individuals to reach their own goals and achieve their own purposes. I do not mean goals such as becoming a movie star, or winning the Nobel Prize in literature or becoming the President of the United States. Or simply making more money than everybody else. By that standard virtually no one is successful. But I think it is possible for these individuals and others to find in other ways those satisfactions that are associated with those lofty achievements, namely, recognition, admiration and a sense of importance.

For one of a million reasons, we feel like we can’t be ourselves. We long to be. We just want to move through the world as we truly are, without the masks. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. If you asked someone to make a list of what he wanted in a partner, I imagine ‘loving me for who I am’ would near the top of anyone’s list, or at least anyone who wants a real, authentic relationship.
4)Transcend Your Childhood Drama (pgs. 199-211): This informative section lists essential information on steps anyone can take to make peace with their childhood in order to more joyfully help in transforming their adult self. I really appreciate (and found it healing) how the authors mention in one of their steps is to accept the truth that it was never about you (pg. 202-203). All the steps listed are very helpful, but the steps that resonated the most with me are the steps of rewiring your mental direction, belief relief, and doing it now.

There is no real risk to chasing your dreams. As far as I can tell, it’s a lot of fun and a thrilling journey. My experience with countless clients over many, many years, is that all the risk…all the frustration…and all the disappointment, is born from not chasing dreams. (But please remember, there is a way to chase dreams successfully which is like chasing butterflies. Put yourself in the right energy field, and become a magnet for those butterflies. The more direct method of butterfly catching is so much harder).
Think about the qualities you seek in the person you want to attract. These qualities are very personal and vary from individual to individual. Remember, there are no limits to what you can want.  Be specific about what is important to you; think about what you want in detail.  A great way to get some clarity is to make a list of the qualities you find attractive and the values that you admire in other people. Making a list or journaling our expectations is a powerful tool when applying the law of attraction to any facet of your life.
Choosing a school for your child is one of the most important decisions your family can make.  During these formative years, students will build life-long friendships, develop their worldview, and gain knowledge that will launch them into college and beyond.  Abundant Life School would love to partner with you as you go through this wonderful and important experience.    
3) The Third List: Your Gifts. The third list is, in my opinion, the most important one. Your soul mate will not be coming into your life to rescue you, make you happy, or save your life.  A soul mate is a friend and partner with whom you’ll be sharing your life.  Someone who will love, nurture and support you while you love, nurture and support them.  Someone who understands the power and beauty of a true soulmate union and will hold the space for love, even when you can’t.
The most challenging part of acknowledging and accepting the truth of what the Law of Attraction has to offer is coming to the realization that every single one of your decisions in life, good and bad, have been shaped by you alone. For many, this can be a bitter pill to swallow, especially if you feel that you or your loved ones have been dealt some particularly hard blows in life.
i broke up with my guy just a week back. we were in deep love.but he was realy irriated with me flirting around with other guyz.but i never had any affair with any guy while i was in relationship with him nigther did i cheat on him.dayz back first time he caught me lying ,well i had just called a guy friend of mine(who he dislikes) but i did not tell him about it while he was goin through my phone he just found his contact in the dialled no. and after that he broke up with me. but now when i have changed for him completely , i have stopped talkin 2 every guy friend of mine he doesnt trust me and he doesnt wanna come back.but i cant get over him,i realy love him truly. what do i do.i tried giving him some cute surprises and getting him back but he says his liking hasnt incresed for me at all.
If you were to meet your soulmate today, and you chose to live together, would there be room in your life for them?  Okay, think you know what I’m getting at?  If you don’t start making actual time and space to be with your soulmate, you’re sending out a clear message to the Universe that you’re not ready to welcome him or her into your life. If what you truly want is to welcome your One into your life, and you are fully committed, then one of the best ways that you can accelerate this process is by consciously making room for them.
This is another example of intending conflict. You’re projecting one intention for your avatar and one for your spouse, so the actual unified intention is that of conflict. Hence the result you experience, subject to the influence of your higher order beliefs, will be to experience conflict with your spouse. If your thoughts are conflicted, your reality is conflicted.
I understand your scepticism about the LOA as I am someone who is open minded about it. However, I kind of lost confidence in your arguments when you started to present basic premises about the LOA incorrectly. For example, the primary focus of the law of attraction is not about material wealth. It is about self development, self love and the journey to self completeness within the context of mindfulness and positive thinking. This is a premise that is widely used within peer researched clinical therapies as well as many religions. Proponents of the law of attraction do not campaign for everyone to achieve selfish material gain and wealth. I have not heard or read anyone, no matter what level in their LOA journey that they are at. Their point is about the power of a positive mindset, a principle I am very much a supporter of and as I said, this is not unique to the LOA.
I really need your help.. The thing is I like one guy very much. Since the first time I saw him, I felt the connection I have never felt with someone else before.. This time I am sure he is the One. I see myself marrying him one day… even when I feel bad, I still have that picture in my head of me saying “I do” to him… He has all the qualities that I wanted in a guy.. He even is born on the same day as me.. Since I saw him looking at me, I felt he liked me… however, I’m a type of person who doubts a lot. like really a lot… Long story short, on December last year I added him on facebook and he messaged me immediately. It really showed that he was interested in me. An we had so much in common that I couldn’t even believe this can be true… so we were chatting on and off. we both are shy… and i remember that I would message him of desperation sometimes.. I messaged him in February.. we had a nice conversation, but for some reason I started doubting and crying… I was broke… then I found (again) the LOA, your articles were very inspiring..I was feeling quite good and would sometimes get on a level that I didn’t need him to make me happy. Then a miracle happened, after a month of our conversation, he asked me out. It was an amazing date. He was so happy then.. he even blushed a few times.. then, after a week he asked me out again. and again it was a wonderful time that we shared.. and after the date he said this: “there will be infinity of dates like this”, and the look in his eyes and.. and his smile said even more – he was very very happy when with me. He was glowing. However… i for some reason shied away and didn’t even message him after a date.. the next day I saw him and he was very said when I said hello to him. I could see the sadness in his eyes… then I felt guilty… i started doubting… and things got worse… I tried to fix the situation after more than a month… I asked him out myself. but he couldn’t go.. and then it was a breakdown for me… it was an awful period… I was very negative.. and i saw hi groupmate being with him at university all the time… it took me a couple of months to feel better… at the end of June I was feeling good. I was relaxed… And then I got a message from him. It was the nicest compliment I had ever received..I will not go into details, but I was on and off with my emotions… I thought that in September (because we study at the same university, except for he is a year older than me) things will be very good.. but they are not… we only say hello to each other… and most of the time ignore each other like we don’t exist… his groupmate is still being flirty with him and I don’t know what to do. It’s his last year in university.. I don’t have much time and this puts even more stress on me.. One of my friends keeps telling me that if he cared he would have done something by now… it hurts, because… because I had a chance to have him in my life but because of my fears and doubts I messed it all up.. Another friend says that I have to do something.. that I have to message him… but I don’t feel good now.. I’m not inspired and I don’t know if I ever will.. I simply love this person with my whole heart, and he is amazing… and I’m scared to lose him.. Any advice how I could calm down and go in the direction of my desire? because I feel like i’m going the opposite way. Maybe someone is in a similiar situation as me?
I have some questions about letting go of resistance. Looking back, I could finally let go of resistance by going on lots of dates and making myself exhausted, get sick and tired of trying to find the right guy. And after that moment, I could finally surrender and manifest guys that I actually wanted to be with. So maybe it could be one of the ways that people can let go of resistance? Is this the hard way?

This book really resonated with me. My story is much different and as been a lot easier than that of Eric. Even with this being the case I learned so much about myself as I read this and the importance persistance and faith. This book is great for motivation. It is inspirational in many ways and at the same time entertaining. It is a quick read and in my opinion a must read!


Thank you so much for such long reply! The more I’m working on myself with LOA, somehow the more my feelings are changing. Deep down, I know there will be more chances for me out there and therefore, I will meet the love of my life but my brain tells me that I shouldn’t have done that. Feels like my heart and my brain are in different places. Sometimes it’s quite the challenge. But I learned that I need to care for myself first and foremost!
If sales is the basis to success in business, what are the secrets to succeeding at sales? At the foundation of any business, there are quite literally five fundamental keys that you need to have in place. This is not just about building an irresistible offer. Yes, you need that. But, you need so much more in place before that's even concocted or created.
TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, development and the arts. Closed captions and translated subtitles in a variety of languages are now available on TED.com, at http://www.ted.com/translate.

Try this... if you experience an event that makes you so happy and overjoyed that you want to attract more into your life then try to remember your inner emotion you had (your heart beating faster/ stomach jumping) whatever it was try to replicate that by remembering the event and then if your vibrational energy is the same as you felt in that joyous moment then it will manifest and you will attract it into your life.
We can't always control our circumstances, but we can control our responses to them. In this vein, the Law of Attraction can provide the optimism and proactive attitude that's associated with resilience in difficult situations, but must not be used as a tool of self-blame. Our responses to the challenges we face can make us stronger in the end, and the Law of Attraction can be used for that end, but should not be applied negatively, or it can be more destructive than helpful.
Now, suppose that you begin to get clear about the kind of person that your soulmate is.  And you decide he or she is Abundant, Affectionate, Ambitious, Beautiful, Caring, Charismatic, Considerate, Creative, and so forth. Now, imagine that this person – who possess all of these wonderful qualities – was simultaneously looking back at you and secretly seeing you the way that you are right now, do you think that they would be proud of what they were seeing?  Would they be interested in hanging out with you, in dating you?  Chances are, the answer is no.
Renown speaker, educator, author, activist and minister, Eric Thomas is rising to national prominence by delivering a high energy message that tells youth through first hand experience how to live up to their full potential and greatness and by breaking the cycles of crime, hopelessness and despair that many face daily. Known for his engagingly personal approach, his messages are both dynamic & inspiring. When coupled with his own Cycle-Breaking experience his blunt essays on reality and remarkable ability to reach even the most jaded of minds, has helped thousands of youth nationwide become peak performers academically, spiritually and personally. Eric has electrified audiences ranging from Fortune 500 companies to urban educators, collegiate athletic programs and inner-city youth development agencies with the message of his own life's struggles and the principles, insights and strategies he used to overcome them. Eric is no stranger to the ills that plague our communities as he was born in Chicago, IL and raised on the streets of Detroit, MI. His childhood and adolescent years were difficult, and his life struggles and personal identity issues were intensified because like so many, he did not establish a relationship with his biological father until his early thirties.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I am so glad you liked the post. I think a lot of people have that fear, so you are certainly not alone in that. One of the things that has helped me most with that is remembering how ‘challenging’ the human experience is, and knowing we all have our ‘stuff’ that we hold inside, bad things that have happened to us, etc.. For the most part, I think lots of people actually want to talk about these things and not feel like they are the only one struggling. Intellectually we know that isn’t true, but how we feel is often very different. When we think about it this way, sharing our own ‘stuff’ feels less scary. And, as you work on your attraction, you will naturally begin to meet up with people who you do feel comfortable with, and will not pull away when things get closer.
I was wondering, my boyfriend took a job transfer a year ago. We have a long distance relationship. Things have been hard recently. I want to move to where he is with him, and I want our relationship to be better, like it was before or better. We used to talk all the time and text alot and such and for some reason the past few months it has gotten less.
Consciously shifting your thoughts is definitely the easier path, but when we first start working with LOA, this can be hard to do because our current belief system of having to take action, hustle and MAKE things happen, is still quite strong and we just can’t buy into this fully even if it resonates with us, and we know there is some truth to this method of bringing what we want into our life. Visualizing is a good tool for uncovering resistance, which is essentially all the reasons we tell ourselves we can’t have what we want, and getting into a good feeling space. One of the most important things is not to worry about getting super-specific. Don’t worry about figuring our what this person looks like, exactly what he is like, just try to get into the feelings. Trying to get too specific with the type of person can trigger a lot of resistance, and may even actually clog up the channels of receiving because you may get too attached to this person having to be a very specific way.
So what does that tell you? Well, when I asked myself the same question years ago before I started doing this work, what I realized was that in order for me to attract and manifest my Soulmate, I must somehow develop and grow myself into the kind of person that I myself want to be with.   In other words, if you haven’t found the right person it’s probably because you are not being the right person! As Marianne Williamson says, “We must become the person we want to attract.”
Hi JG – I’m glad you’re enjoying my book on attracting a specific person! Detachment will come with time. Don’t worry so much about whether you’re doing things right. The Law of Attraction isn’t about perfection. Also, as I discuss in the book, focus on doing things that make you happy. It’ll be far more effective than trying to cover the doubts up with affirmations.

January we got together..we’re best friends too…everything was going PERFECT…then my beliefs mess up with me… I started with feelings like: ” Oh no, it’s too good to be real, she for real doesn.t like me, I’m not good enough, she’ll find someone better, etc” . I started to be so jealous…and everytime I was saying that I needed a break, space from her..but I didn’t know how… because I needed to change my vibes and get self confident again… So, the Universe gave me this break, when We had a discussion a month ago. She asked me a break.
Imagine you’re having a dream. In that dream what exactly are YOU? Are YOU the physical dream character you identify with? No, of course not — that’s just your dream avatar. YOU are the dreamer. The entire dream occurs within your consciousness. All dream characters are projections of your dream thoughts, including your avatar. In fact, if you learn lucid dreaming, you can even switch avatars in your dream by possessing another character. In a lucid dream, you can do anything you believe you can.

To add, he has been saying he has “something in the works” and I asked what he meant and he said it was a surprise but that is has to do with he and I and our love and that he knows it’s going to make me extremely happy. He never does anything for me, or buys me things so I’m having a hard time trying to imagine what this could be. I’m deep down hoping that maybe he could be talking about proposing to me. He said I should expect this “surprise” in one to two weeks. Is it possible for me to use the Law of Attraction to make this actually be a proposal?
While affirmations and visualizations are two of the most important tools at your disposal when working with the Law of Attraction, they are far from the only techniques that you can use to create the life you desire. For example, there are Law of Attraction exercises that specifically target negative feelings and help you work on dismissing them, and ways of stopping self-undermining thoughts before they can emerge and take hold. Meanwhile, there are ways to transform your living space to better reflect your goals and to inspire an optimistic mind set, and social methods that enhance your communication and help you to spread positivity wherever you go.

When we decide that what we want must come in a certain way–like wanting the relationship to be with a specific person for example–that is trying to control the ‘how’ and this can create blocks that prevent what we want from coming in. So long as you hold that intention to let love in, and you are working on your energy, you will attract things that give you these same feelings–it may be him, or it may be someone else. But the bottom line is that it will feel good, and you will be happy. When we are still attached to a specific person, it is easy to think that only they can give us these feelings, and someone else wouldn’t be as good. So, I would say keep doing what you are doing, but don’t put too much focus on trying to attract a specific person.
Besides, luck, being in the right place at the right time often makes a big difference – which is why you should be willing to try and try again, learning how to endure failure. That’s the third secret of success, according to Scott Adams, author of How to Fail at Almost Everything And Still Win Big. “There is plenty of luck to go around; you just need to keep your hand raised until it’s your turn,” argues Adams. “If you drill down into any success story, you always discover that luck was a huge part of it. You cannot control luck, but you can move from a game with bad odds to one with better odds. You can make it easier for luck to find you. The most useful thing you can do is stay in the game. If your current get-rich project fails, take what you learned and try something else. Keep repeating until something lucky happens.”
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