Each "failed" relationship has given you clues about what you want in your ideal partner. The problem is, many women and men focus on the negative instead of the positive. For example, by saying that you don't want a man who "puts his work before the relationship," you are focusing on a man who puts work before love and that is the desire you are unconsciously sending out through your energy.
It wasn’t until the morning after our little ‘party’ that I noticed something taped to the refrigerator – something that impacts me each time I read it. It was the IBD 10 Secrets to Success. Once my head cleared, I quickly copied them down and read them over and over again. After our vacation I made copies and posted them in my home office and inside a journal I decided to keep.
When we are really longing for a relationship, it is easy to let standards and boundaries go out the window. If you are looking for a guy, you may be willing to give anyone that floats into your orbit a chance. Now, I am not saying not to be open to different people, because I think that is a good idea. Sometimes we can get too specific with the type of person we want to meet, and close off potential matches. Sometimes, what we think we want in a person is really something different, or not as important as we deem it now.
So that’s where we need to start. The definition of whatever success means to you must created and written out in a detailed plan. You don’t need to know every step to take in order to get you there; but you need to have a general sense of direction and an overall plan for its attainment. When you fail to do this, you can’t really categorize these as goals, but more so as hopes and wishes.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share your experience with me. You are certainly on the right track with what you are doing, and you are certainly lining yourself up for an amazing relationship. That is where a lot of people struggle with LOA in general, and relationships in particular–it can be really hard to feel okay with how things are now when we want them to be different. Feeling okay with being single and feeling that fulfillment with life in the absence of that other person can be a challenge, but it is necessary to let in a GOOD relationship.
If you’re serious about growing yourself into becoming the kind of person that you want to attract, then I recommend that you cultivate a network of therapists, counselors, coaches, healing professionals, trusted friends and mentors whom you can count on for any variety of challenge that will arise. Especially when the big stuff starts coming up, and it will!
Above all, find ways to be happier now, no matter what is going on. Make your happiness and well-being a priority. The higher you are "vibing" the more things you will attract into your experience that mirror back all these great feelings. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. You can want the relationship, but release on the desperate sense of "need" around it.
While you’ve likely asked yourself this question before, and more than likely you’ve read or heard about it somewhere, the discussion still beckons us. So what is the secret to success in life? How can we achieve our wildest dreams over time without getting discouraged? How can we match our actions with our words, follow through, and persist until we achieve wild success?