Hi Elizabeth, I’ve read your book (loved it!) and the “rules” for those of us who want to manifest an ex, seem a little more demanding and complex… What if your ex wants nothing to do with you, or appears not to want to? What if they are telling everyone they are moving on and happier without you and are going toward greener pastures and they are open to meeting someone new? Secondly, how does one visualize happiness when still hurting, and how does one visualize good things and “let it go” when the memory of the breakup is still recent and fresh. Any tips on how to switch off emotional pain and memories, and just concentrate on the good? I just feel that manifesting an ex back is a great deal more challenging (and yes it is him I really want) because of the history there which simply can’t be erased or forgotten….
Your experience is a common one with manifesting, regardless of the desire. We do all this work, inner and outer, we don’t get the results we want, we get super-pissed, say f$ck it, and give up. Then usually some good stuff comes in from the positive momentum that has been built up, now that the massive resistance has diminished. Now, while doing a lot of stuff that makes us feel badly, or taking a lot of action for a long time without results, usually leads us to a point where we surrender, it is not the best approach to take because it isn’t necessary. It’s not something you want to consciously do. You don’t want to force yourself into surrender. You can take action if you feel compelled, but just make sure it feels good, and you don’t get attached to those channels as being the way that person must come to you.
"One can work toward manifesting positive outcomes; however, there are always these statements: 'I want this but not that. I want this and that, and I want this, but if I cannot have this, I will settle for this.' These types of thoughts bring forth convoluted requests and results. Using the modifiers 'not, but, and, as well as, either/or' muck things up. The energies that guide us and assist us take the request that was uttered or written and manifest things literally (including those words). It just happens that way. I tell people to only state or write down what they want and to leave out the things they do not want. The use of modifiers often provides mixed results, which may not be what someone wants," Rappaport claims.
Hi Geoff! Thank you for your reply. I do understand the chapter is about getting an ex back. However, what I meant to ask is whether the same rule applies if the person you want to manifest a relationship with is someone you haven’t previously dated. You see I talk to him everyday and he often tends to talk about the girl he is with or unknowingly tells me how I mean a lot to him but only as a friend. And every time that happens I just can’t stop negative thoughts of fear and doubt cropping up in my mind, thus making it difficult for me to let go. So I want to know if I should maintain some distance, perhaps talk less often. The only issue here is that there isn’t really any problem between us. He knows I love him and we kind of sorted it out a couple of months back and have continued to be best friends. I don’t quite have a reason to suddenly cut down on talking to him and I am sure if I do that he would want to know why.
The financial newspaper Investors Business Daily (IBD) asked these same questions a few years ago and started a multi-year search for the answer. They studied industry leaders, investors and entrepreneurs to understand the traits they all had in common that contributed to their success. Reproduced here is their list of 10 Secrets to Success along with my commentary on each no-so-secret, ‘secret’.
The preparation for welcoming your soul mate requires that you make a conscious commitment to start healing the deepest wounds of your heart. Notice that I said “start” healing the deepest wounds of your heart, because for the majority of us, this is a lifelong process and it doesn’t mean you have to be fully healed to manifest your One. In fact, one of the things that a soul mate will do is HELP you to heal your deepest emotional wounds, and chances are you’ll be helping them heal their deepest emotional wounds as well. BUT you must be willing to clear out all of the past hurts, anger, resentments, and anything else that makes up the thick wall of protection and distrust that you have built around your heart so that you can start welcoming love in.
Law of Attraction Affirmations can take the form of internal thoughts or spoken words, but they can also be represented visually. Regardless of how you choose to use them, you can design them to reflect your vision of how you want your life to change. For example, many people have great success speaking affirming words into the mirror before going to work, or stating “today is going to be a great day” to infuse themselves with positivity upon waking. When used frequently enough, affirmations can enhance your use of the Law of Attraction by helping to reshape the core beliefs and assumptions that may be holding you back. They promote consistency, optimism and intense focus on the future you want to create.
It’s important to understand that mindfulness isn’t about changing anything or trying to understand it. This is because the analytical and judgement aspects — our automatic reactions — are unhealthy and actually perpetuate the problem. It reinforces the connection in our brain between the action and the negative feeling. To release that connection, approach it without judgement. Let it be.
It’s quite clear then that in order to succeed in life at any endeavor, we need to set specific goals. But, not only do they have to be specific, they have to be S.M.A.R.T.E.R. goals — goals that are specific, meaningful, achievable, relevant, and time-based. Those goals also need to be constantly evaluated and the plans re-adjusted in order to attain them.