Step 1: Essentially, you need to make the decision that you really want to attract this life partner. Then, truly commit to the idea of spending the rest of your life with this person. Making this commitment may involve processing old wounds (e.g. via journaling or therapy). Hopefully, the past can be left behind and you can opt to embrace hope instead of fear.
As you start shifting beliefs around this area of your life, you may notice certain things in your experience. You are meeting more people with whom you have common interests. You find yourself having great conversations with people, the types of conversations you envision having with your partner. You may find yourself going on more dates frequently with people who seem like a better fit for you than people you were going out with previously.
Stop procrastinating. Avoiding the unpleasant parts of work doesn’t make them go away. Break the seemingly unmanageable into manageable chunks, then sprinkle those less-enjoyable aspects of a task into that other stuff that you really like. Building up a huge hunk of the bad stuff to deal with all at once, after you’ve completed the enjoyable stuff, is just going to leave a sour taste in your mouth at the end of a project.[1]
The true “secret” is that God is in control. God has a sovereign and perfect plan for us. The key is getting in tune with God, thereby understanding His heart and knowing His will. Rather than seeking after wealth, fame, power, and pleasure (in which there is nothing but emptiness), we are to seek a relationship with God, allowing Him to place His perfect desires in our heart and mind, conforming our feelings to His – and then granting us the desire of His, and our, hearts. “Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun” (Psalm 37:4-6).

If you’re serious about growing yourself into becoming the kind of person that you want to attract, then I recommend that you cultivate a network of therapists, counselors, coaches, healing professionals, trusted friends and mentors whom you can count on for any variety of challenge that will arise.  Especially when the big stuff starts coming up, and it will!


In a book written by Mark McCormack entitled, What they don’t teach you at Harvard Business School, the author recounts a powerful study that was conducted on the graduating class of 1979. On graduation day, the researchers asked one specific question: “Have you set clear and written goals for your future and outlined a specific plan to accomplish them?”
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