Why does a person keep smoking cigarettes when they know smoking might give them cancer? Why does an overweight person keep eating when they know they should be dieting? Once again: they’re doing more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. But there’s also one very important thing to note about the pain versus pleasure paradigm: we will always do more to avoid pain in the short term and not in the long term.
As I mentioned earlier, our soulmates frequently come into our lives to help us heal our deepest emotional wounds, and we come into their lives to help them do the same. For some people, this may at first look like some form of ‘Crazy, Stupid Love’, or a relationship that appears to bring out the worst both in you and your partner. These are the kind of relationships where people break up several times but over time have a tendency to find their balance as deep healing begins to take place and eventually grow into ‘Soulmate Love’.
If you want things in your life to get better, focus on the solution, not on the problem. Your thoughts generate the action you take in your life. If your thoughts are soaked in negativity, your action can't be resourceful. Instead of focusing on the elimination of a problem, focus on what you can create instead. Replace worrying with the projection of positive images.
Abundant life for a person begins with a new birth, a new relationship with God, new motivations, and a new relationship with mankind. The process of Christian maturity for that person continues with learning to live abundantly, being cleansed from sin, and learning to fight spiritual battles. Christian salvation and maturity is not reliance on the self-efforts of rituals, devotion, meditation, good works, asceticism, and self-control over desires, but by believing in the redemption from sin through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ (Romans 3:24, 1 Cor 15:3–4). Through faith in divine agency, the working of the Holy Spirit, God transforms a person's desires to be more in conformity with God's will (Ephesians 2:8–10, Romans 12:1–2).
When you do find yourself meeting with someone, don’t pin all your hopes on this person being the ‘one.’ You really don’t even know him yet, and you have no idea if this person is really compatible with you, or is the type of person you would want to be with over the long-term. Sure, you can be excited, and look forward to it, but release any expectation around how things will play out. Work on getting yourself into a state of ‘surrender’ where you just accept what happens as it happens, knowing all the while, what you want is coming, even if you have no idea how that looks right now.
Many people talk about success. They say they want to be successful at something. But, when prodded, they don’t provide specifics because they haven’t really created those specifics in their minds. Sure, they might want to earn more money, drive a nicer car, get a better job, or travel to some far-off destination, but they haven’t set specific and measurable goals that are written down on paper.