By tracking expenses down the very last red cent, a few things are happening in your mind. First of all, the behavior needs to become habitual. That will take approximately 90 to 180 days of daily repetition. Second, when we become more aware of precisely where our money is going, we’re more careful about our spending, possibly save more money, and even begin contemplating various investments.
I had a clear vision of what happy looked like and since it wasn’t my reality, I didn’t allow myself to be happy. So I was angry, resentful, and jealous of all the people around me who were getting their dreams handed to them. And of course that flipped my magnet and the only thing I attracted was more negativity, sinking deeper and deeper in my own shit until I hit rock bottom.
Again, we can only attract that to which we are currently a match, so this means we can’t wait to feel better about our lives until what we want comes. You have to make peace with your single status. You have to start finding ways to feel happy about your life now as it is. This doesn’t mean pretending to like things you don’t, but diligently working on adopting a perspective that actually makes you feel better. It is about focusing on the things in your life that are good, and building on that energy. It is about making time to do things that make you feel good, that help produce the feelings you think you would get from being in a relationship.
This is the time to pamper yourself, to prove how valuable you are and to take the time to do something special for yourself. Maybe you have always wanted to stay at a beachfront hotel, get a massage or a pedicure, learn a new language, rent a particular movie, or have a gourmet dinner served in your home. No matter how big or small, the time to fulfill your desires is now.
The first thing you need to do is take a step back. You’ve come a long way. You’ve been through a lot. You’re still standing. And you may not be happy but you know more. Widsom is gold. You have more than ever which means you have a clearer picture of what you want. Chances are what you put weight on and what you want today is different then say five years ago.
In a book written by Mark McCormack entitled, What they don’t teach you at Harvard Business School, the author recounts a powerful study that was conducted on the graduating class of 1979. On graduation day, the researchers asked one specific question: “Have you set clear and written goals for your future and outlined a specific plan to accomplish them?”