Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I am so glad you liked the post. I think a lot of people have that fear, so you are certainly not alone in that. One of the things that has helped me most with that is remembering how ‘challenging’ the human experience is, and knowing we all have our ‘stuff’ that we hold inside, bad things that have happened to us, etc.. For the most part, I think lots of people actually want to talk about these things and not feel like they are the only one struggling. Intellectually we know that isn’t true, but how we feel is often very different. When we think about it this way, sharing our own ‘stuff’ feels less scary. And, as you work on your attraction, you will naturally begin to meet up with people who you do feel comfortable with, and will not pull away when things get closer.
Imagine you’re having a dream. In that dream what exactly are YOU? Are YOU the physical dream character you identify with? No, of course not — that’s just your dream avatar. YOU are the dreamer. The entire dream occurs within your consciousness. All dream characters are projections of your dream thoughts, including your avatar. In fact, if you learn lucid dreaming, you can even switch avatars in your dream by possessing another character. In a lucid dream, you can do anything you believe you can.

Shelly Bullard, MFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Love Coach and Spiritual Teacher. She's the author of the eBook: How to Become the Most Attractive Version of Yourself which she offers for FREE (click here to receive your free copy). She's also the instructor of the popular mbg courses: How To Become The Most Attractive Version of Yourself & How to Attract a Partner Who's Ready for Deep, Devoted Love. Shelly believes that when you access the experience of Love within yourself, your relationships become deeply fulfilling and you become the person you’re meant to be. She was named the “Love Guru” as one of the 100 Women to Watch in Wellness by mindbodygreen, and her deepest passion is living and practicing love and relationships as a spiritual path. To learn more about how she can help you create more love in your life, visit her at: shellybullard.com.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share your experience with me. You are certainly on the right track with what you are doing, and you are certainly lining yourself up for an amazing relationship. That is where a lot of people struggle with LOA in general, and relationships in particular–it can be really hard to feel okay with how things are now when we want them to be different. Feeling okay with being single and feeling that fulfillment with life in the absence of that other person can be a challenge, but it is necessary to let in a GOOD relationship.
There's an old saying, perhaps you've heard it, "consider the source"? Do you not see the irony in your criticism of LOA, classifying it as a "pseudoscience", with your employer being PSYCHOLOGY TODAY? if I'm not mistaken, has the field of psychology itself, in It's infancy as well as today, not been debunked, by "actual science", referring to it also as "pseudoscience"?
Thank you for responding, but how do I find out where and when I went wrong? The person that I have been on and off with for ten years, how do I get that back on track with him without the resentment and just have a good family life. I will only allow myself to go but so far because my children comes first and that is partly his problem it’s like he wants me to love him but hate my kids or just want them to go away. Do I apply the LOA or do I let go and focus on my blessings which are my children and many other things?

I was in a ten year relationship with my child’s father, but he was a cheater. Eventually I started seeing other people years down the line, mind you our relationship was up and down. Long story short I became pregnant with another’s man baby, which was hurtful to the both of us. I still felt a sense of this happening wasn’t all my fault I feel like he played a role as well. I used to beg him to get our relationship back on track for about three years so finally I gave up because of continuous cheating. Well finally last year we I thought we were getting somewhere and boom came to find out the cheating never stopped, well I left again to begin a new relationship which didn’t work out either plus here’s another baby on the way. Finally the guy that I was with for ten years we started seeing each other again during my pregnancy, but the catch is he wants me to give up baby for adoption. We were broken up for seven months and really I feel my child isn’t his business. Nonetheless, for some odd reason I still love and want to be with him, but if he can’t accept the children, then I have to depart from him. How do me and the children attract him for a positive family oriented relationship?
Now, if you want a really detailed guide on attracting love, have a look at The Law Of Attraction program called Origins. It includes a book called Magnetic Love Mysteries Revealed: The 9 Simple Steps To Attracting Your Perfect Romantic Partner. It teaches how to quickly and easily harness The Law of Attraction to find the one without feeling desperate or alone.

The concept of manifesting destiny, which rests on the Law of Attraction, is the idea that investing positive energy and belief in any desired outcome will allow a person to bring the outcome to fruition. In other words, you have the power to get what you want simply by believing in it. Sound a little crazy? Maybe. But if people swear by it, it's worth at least exploring, right?


"Simply focusing on finding Mr. or Ms. Right isn’t going to get you there, but it is definitely going to help your process if you use other techniques as well! For instance, if you focus on manifesting your happy romantic destiny while creating a strong dating profile and figuring out your goals and deal breakers, you’re more likely to be successful than if you have a negative attitude while doing this important work towards dating smart. ... As with anything else, manifesting your destiny doesn’t happen with a magic wand. Very little in life happens with a single act — but having a positive outlook and focusing on your goal is going to move your success along, in the right direction, that much more quickly. It will also help overcome obstacles that might trip you up with a less focused and positive outlook," according to Masini.

Often times what you experience in others are perfect reflections of thy self, in some beautiful (and not so)  way. So it’s important to ask the questions — “What can I learn from this relationship about myself?  What here could even be symbolic about ME?”  Dealing with a bully doesn’t mean you ARE a bully — but might truly be a reflection of a fear you need to work at, (since bully’s are just small and fearful).  So be open to it.  If you experience it, you own it…somehow.
Thanks for your comments. Since you obviously have advanced knowledge on how to use a law of attraction, I assume that you have achieved all of your goals and fulfilled all of your dreams. Now you are a very rich millionaire trying to help the rest of us. Actually, you wouldn't be doing that because as LOA founder Wallace Wattles said "do not talk about poverty...do not spend your time in charitable work,...all charity only tends to perpetuate the wretchedness it aims to eradicate."
The Law of Attraction has been popularized in the early 21st century by books and films such as The Secret. This 2006 film and the subsequent book[49] use interviews with New Thought authors and speakers to explain the principles of the proposed metaphysical law that one can attract anything that one thinks about consistently. Writing for the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry, Mary Carmichael and Ben Radford wrote that "neither the film nor the book has any basis in scientific reality", and that its premise contains "an ugly flipside: if you have an accident or disease, it's your fault".[47]
This post may contain affiliate links which means if you choose to make a purchase through my links, I may earn a small commission at no cost to you. It helps pay for my web hosting and supports my work. All attempts are made to present the most correct information, but it may not be appropriate for your specific circumstance and information may become outdated.
"The more powerful part of this is understanding that when we do that, we put ourselves at the effect rather than being at the cause, so understanding this, it's more about us being at the cause rather than the effect, us being the star of our own movie, not trying to be a cameo in someone else's. The power of this is that when we begin to live in the authentic expression of who we are, when we begin to act in that energy state, there's something very magnetic about it, and it becomes a bit of a paradox. When we're doing what we're passionate about, it's like we attract others who are resonating with that, and we may find that if we start to act on our passions, if we start to become this best version of ourself, if we start to focus on ourselves and knowing that we're already 100% whole and complete, there's more likelihood that from that energy state, we will attract other people that also resonate with it. We may find out that that original ex that we wanted back into our life doesn't actually even resonate.
&&LDIV&&R &&Lp class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in"&&RAre you intrigued by the Laws of Attraction yet not quite sure how to use their power if your life? Well, you are not alone! This life-changing book reveals the truth about how your consciousness and energy really work in the world. It’s your full life force—not just your individual intention—that creates results. This uniquely holistic approach unlocks your quantum psychology—the deeper vibrations of your thoughts and feelings—and offers the keys that will open you up to a future of abundance and joy.&&L/p&&R &&Lp class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt"&&R You will also tap into one of the best-kept secrets of success—your connection with the presence and energy of Spirit! Learn how to sharpen your intuition and work with divine experts, messengers, and creative advisors. Discover dozens of simple ways to access the talent of the ages and align your own energy field with the driving and creative force of the cosmos.&&L/p&&R &&Lp class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt"&&RThis book will also help you to:&&L/p&&R •Understand the power of adjacent possibilities and the abundant options they represent •Identify and change your quantum psychology and shift your consciousness for better results •Use your intuitive powers to lead you to your own Manifest Destiny •Flip the energy of your life and propel your individual intentions with a powerful life force •Learn simple techniques to get help from spirit to succeed in every area of your life!&&Lp class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt"&&RThe world of endless possibilities is awaiting you. Now is your moment of destiny creation!&&L/p&&R &&L/div&&R
We can't always control our circumstances, but we can control our responses to them. In this vein, the Law of Attraction can provide the optimism and proactive attitude that's associated with resilience in difficult situations, but must not be used as a tool of self-blame. Our responses to the challenges we face can make us stronger in the end, and the Law of Attraction can be used for that end, but should not be applied negatively, or it can be more destructive than helpful.
Abundant Life began in the fall of 1994, as God took the initiative to reveal Himself in a greater way to His people in Jacksonville, North Carolina. A small band of believers determined to worship GOD in spirit and truth and not after the traditions of men, gathered together for the first time. Only two weeks later, GOD touched the hearts of the Pastor and congregation of the Calvary Seventh Day Adventist Church to open their doors on October 23, 1994. Fifty-five faithful saints worshiped that day. On the same day the Combined Choir was formed with 24 members singing. During the course of the next two months, Men, Youth, and Mass Choirs were formed.
Thank you so much for such long reply! The more I’m working on myself with LOA, somehow the more my feelings are changing. Deep down, I know there will be more chances for me out there and therefore, I will meet the love of my life but my brain tells me that I shouldn’t have done that. Feels like my heart and my brain are in different places. Sometimes it’s quite the challenge. But I learned that I need to care for myself first and foremost!
Hi Elizabeth..AJ here again…I bought your book last night and read it in one setting! Good stuff! I will be reading it again today so I can start the work properly and really soak it all in. I have a question…my guy and I haven’t talked to each other for 2 weeks. But we are both still on the dating site we meet on few months ago. I know I am doing no contact, but with him still being able to see me and I being able to see him…does that kill the mystery of him missing me and will it hinder me from fully letting go? I am just trying to stay open and not block anyone that maybe better…even though I want the chance to see where things can go with him with the proper realignment. I just want to open the gate to draw him in and others, to go with what’s best for me. Thanks in advance!
And no, "But science is sooooooooo mysterious, we can't know for sure..." is not a legitimate argument. REAL science states that you DO NOT believe that something is true UNTIL it has been positively proven, NOT that you treat as if it is because "maybe." And no again, doing so is NOT "keeping an open mind" - keeping an open mind means accepting things for good reasons, not "just because." That's called "being a gullible sucker."
Overall, this was a very easy, simple to read book. Having seen (or should I say "experienced") ET live, I was quite eager to read his book. I was somewhat disappointed that the pages of his book failed to capture his essence more effectively. I will admit to being surprised of the numerous grammatical errors I encountered especially since he is an educator. Finally, although he may be referred to as the "hip-hop preacher" in some circles, there were a few banned words included here and there. This is NOT a religious book by any means.
How many times have you heard somebody claim they know ‘the secret of success’ only to find out somebody else has another secret completely different from the last secret you heard?! Which secret is right?! Who knows THE REAL secret?! … is there ‘a real’ secret?! If so, just how many secrets are out there?! But most importantly, who’s secret advice do we follow to ensure our personal success??

Thank you for your comments. Hard to be positive when talking about the LOA. It's focus on blaming is pervasive. I am a positive psychologist and have proposed a new way of looking at attraction called the Principle of Attraction. As a Principle, like tends to attract like. Positive thoughts, feelings, actions, and words often attracts positivity...but not always. It's not a law, it's a principle, based on positive and social psychology.
Ziglar coined iconic quotes that are often referenced today in business. Things like, "Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude." Along with, "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." And, "You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win." Plus so much more.

I was thinking the same. I've never heard a "professional" man of his age, speaking like such a catty little 15 year old girl. If you read all the comments you can see how he speaks down to/mocks every person who disagrees with him, while sarcastically throwing little digs in wherever he can. I came to this article looking for evidence to discredit the LOA. I just can't seem to take anything he wrote seriously because of his unprofessionalism. Very narrsassitic.


"You cannot request or manifest a relationship as we desire. There is a beautiful component of wishing, manifesting, etc. that people often forget: free will. One cannot make someone do what they want them to do. ... To manifest a new relationship, one needs to create a list that can easily be fulfilled. A client of mine once made a list of the qualities she wanted in a man, but she listed each request as, 'I want a man who... and a man who... and a man who...' She ended up becoming involved with three different men with each of the qualities requested, not one man with all three qualities. Manifesting can be tricky," Rappaport warns.
Ed, thank you very much for sharing your gift and talent. You have used just the right words to really allow all of what I’ve been feeling for so many years finally make more sense than ever. You are a true Blessing and I’m so very excited to learn more from you to truly simplify and organize my thoughts and ideas into the life I’ve been trying to create for myself and my family. I think I had a “missing link” that was there the entire time just floating around me that I could access but much simpler through your help. I do very much appreciate your knowledge and your kindness. Sending you lots of thanks and love to you and your family!!
You change your state by consciously being aware of your thoughts and thought patterns. Our thoughts are one way into changing how we feel. And this is why there are so many videos about changing our thoughts and how we think (and you should watch them. They’re like vitimins. You can’t have too much. You’ll just pee out what you don’t need.) Our faulty thinking creates the negative state / energy that attracts nothing but dead ends and more discouragement. It’s a shitty loop most of us call life. Whatever you feed grows so feed the good in your life. You don’t think there’s any good in your life? That’s just means your joy muscles are very weak. There’s always someone with less than you so start the practice of finding the good in your life.
5. See the positive. Focus on the good things about the specific person you want the Law of Attraction to bring you. Look for something to appreciate. This can be tough if there are negative feelings between the two of you, and you might only be able to find one thing in the beginning, but if you keep working at it, it will get easier. If you’re in a relationship with the person already, you should start to see his/her behavior change and things start improving between the two of you.
I was seeing this really great guy for a couple of months. Things were fantastic between us, but he just got out of a 4 year relationship a few months ago and apparently it was a messy end- she basically picked her career over him and moved to a different state. We decided that the best thing to do right now is for us to just be friends because he said that if he is going to be with me he wants to be there 100% and not have her pop up in his mind all the time. I totally understand this, and really did sense it… is it possible that I manifested this? When I first found this out about his ex it was always in the back of my mind… like he’s just not over her. I kept thinking that. Is it possible that I made this happen myself with my negative thoughts about it? And if so, can I use the LOA to turn it around, help him get over her faster and come back to me? Thank you in advance for your help.

However, we also usually don’t pay attention to the amounts of money that we spend on a daily basis on small expenses until it’s a little too late. As Benjamin Franklin once said, “Beware of small expenses, a small leak will sink a great ship.” He was referring to the small payments for things we tend to forget about or overlook. Yet, it’s those same small expenses that can add up to a lot of money over the course of a month, year, or even a lifetime.

×