This post is part of a series by Shelly Bullard — a primer on raising your vibration and attracting your soul mate. For the next five days, we’ll post one article offering the foundational elements you need to go deeper in the search for self love, and the love of your life. When you’re ready to take the next step, check out Shelly’s course: How To Attract A Partner Who’s Ready For Deep, Devoted Love.
You have no idea the million different ways you can meet someone. Sure, it may be through the typical avenues, like a mutual friend or a blind date. Or, it could happen in the most unexpected, and craziest of ways—the type of situation that makes a great ‘how we met’ story. So, do your best to stop trying to figure out how you would meet this person. Don’t look at the current framework of your life as some sort of filter through which you sift possibilities.
Thank you for your comments. Hard to be positive when talking about the LOA. It's focus on blaming is pervasive. I am a positive psychologist and have proposed a new way of looking at attraction called the Principle of Attraction. As a Principle, like tends to attract like. Positive thoughts, feelings, actions, and words often attracts positivity...but not always. It's not a law, it's a principle, based on positive and social psychology.
Changing Your Frequency: To consciously attract that which you choose into your life you must learn to bring the energy of your thoughts and hence your actions into vibrational harmony with the essence of your choice, be it perfect health, success, abundance, true love or anything else. Creative visualization is the basic technique by which you can positively and effectively reprogramme your subconscious mind and so begin to attract to yourself those things and circumstances that you consciously choose.
Let me say what I mean by success: success is the ability of individuals to reach their own goals and achieve their own purposes. I do not mean goals such as becoming a movie star, or winning the Nobel Prize in literature or becoming the President of the United States. Or simply making more money than everybody else. By that standard virtually no one is successful. But I think it is possible for these individuals and others to find in other ways those satisfactions that are associated with those lofty achievements, namely, recognition, admiration and a sense of importance.
There are dozens of different ways of incorporating your knowledge of the Law of Attraction into your everyday life, letting your new skills shape your day from morning to night. While that might sound like an overwhelming undertaking, the truth is that simple changes have powerful consequences when you’re working with the Law of Attraction. After a few weeks of practising your new approach, much of it will become second nature.
When we decide that what we want must come in a certain way–like wanting the relationship to be with a specific person for example–that is trying to control the ‘how’ and this can create blocks that prevent what we want from coming in. So long as you hold that intention to let love in, and you are working on your energy, you will attract things that give you these same feelings–it may be him, or it may be someone else. But the bottom line is that it will feel good, and you will be happy. When we are still attached to a specific person, it is easy to think that only they can give us these feelings, and someone else wouldn’t be as good. So, I would say keep doing what you are doing, but don’t put too much focus on trying to attract a specific person.
Of course, it is possible to make some broad generalizations. For starters, successful people tend to be good at what they do – although, even here, exceptions exist since some business people, for example, have been regarded as highly successful individuals while determinedly leading their companies down the road to ruin. Additionally, successful people are generally not lazy since becoming successful does require you to do something (even if turns out that you’re ultimately not that good at what that something is). I also happen to think – and it’s a controversial point – that a good dose of intelligence (even if it’s not traditional academic intelligence) does help quite a bit.
When it comes to what draws people to give this whole law of attraction thing a whirl, I would have to say finding a relationship is right up there near the top, along with getting more of that sweet, sweet cash. And people seem to really struggle in the love department. But manifesting a relationship is not any different than manifesting anything else, in theory.
Whatever you are thinking and feeling at any given time is basically your request to the universe for more of the same. Because your energy vibrations will attract energy back to you of the same frequencies, you need to make sure that you are continually sending out energy, thoughts, and feelings that resonate with what you want to be, do, and experience.

The Law of Attraction simply says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. Your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest. But the Law of Attraction gives rise to some tough questions that don’t seem to have good answers. I would say, however, that these problems aren’t caused by the Law of Attraction itself but rather by the Law of Attraction as applied to objective reality.


The thing is that there is no way to know for sure if another guy is gay or bi in most situations, so it's harder to casually meet a guy on the street or at some social function without possibly getting into an awkward situation when you try to feel him out. This means that the options that are left to us can be...less wholesome situations. Combine that with the naturally high sex drive of a male, then multiply that by two and...well, you know how it is.
You need to be clear about what you truly want in a relationship, there are lots of questions to be asked here, and the crucial thing is that you be honest with yourself.  Is it a life-long relationship?  Is it a traditional “get married”, raise a family relationship? Is it a committed relationship living apart?  You must decide what you truly want; sending the universe mixed messages via your thoughts will only lead to people who want different types of relationships coming into your life.
4) Shine your unique light.  Be willing to, more than ever, be yourself with every person that you meet, and in every situation – no matter how casual the encounter might seem.  As Andy Warhol used to say, “Be yourself because everyone else is already taken.”  The more you are yourself, the faster your soulmate will recognize you. Remember: they are also looking for someone unique just like you, so when you stop being your true self, you’re also stopping them from recognizing you!
Thank you so much for such long reply! The more I’m working on myself with LOA, somehow the more my feelings are changing. Deep down, I know there will be more chances for me out there and therefore, I will meet the love of my life but my brain tells me that I shouldn’t have done that. Feels like my heart and my brain are in different places. Sometimes it’s quite the challenge. But I learned that I need to care for myself first and foremost!
"We've seen this in misclassifying hate speech in political debates in both directions — taking down accounts and content that should be left up and leaving up content that was hateful and should be taken down," says Zuckerberg on his Facebook account. "This has been painful for me, because I often agree with those criticizing us that we're making mistakes."

Shelly Bullard, MFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Love Coach and Spiritual Teacher. She's the author of the eBook: How to Become the Most Attractive Version of Yourself which she offers for FREE (click here to receive your free copy). She's also the instructor of the popular mbg courses: How To Become The Most Attractive Version of Yourself & How to Attract a Partner Who's Ready for Deep, Devoted Love. Shelly believes that when you access the experience of Love within yourself, your relationships become deeply fulfilling and you become the person you’re meant to be. She was named the “Love Guru” as one of the 100 Women to Watch in Wellness by mindbodygreen, and her deepest passion is living and practicing love and relationships as a spiritual path. To learn more about how she can help you create more love in your life, visit her at: shellybullard.com.
Thank you for your comments. Hard to be positive when talking about the LOA. It's focus on blaming is pervasive. I am a positive psychologist and have proposed a new way of looking at attraction called the Principle of Attraction. As a Principle, like tends to attract like. Positive thoughts, feelings, actions, and words often attracts positivity...but not always. It's not a law, it's a principle, based on positive and social psychology.
These questions seem to weaken the plausibility of the Law of Attraction. Sometimes people answer them by going pretty far out. For example, it’s been said by LoAers that a young child experiences abuse because s/he intended it or earned it during a past life. Well, sure… we can explain just about anything if we bring past lives into the equation, but IMO that’s a cop-out. On the other hand, objective reality without the Law of Attraction doesn’t provide satisfactory answers either — supposedly some kids are just born unlucky. That’s a cop-out too.
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5. See the positive. Focus on the good things about the specific person you want the Law of Attraction to bring you. Look for something to appreciate. This can be tough if there are negative feelings between the two of you, and you might only be able to find one thing in the beginning, but if you keep working at it, it will get easier. If you’re in a relationship with the person already, you should start to see his/her behavior change and things start improving between the two of you.

Now, suppose that you begin to get clear about the kind of person that your soulmate is.  And you decide he or she is Abundant, Affectionate, Ambitious, Beautiful, Caring, Charismatic, Considerate, Creative, and so forth. Now, imagine that this person – who possess all of these wonderful qualities – was simultaneously looking back at you and secretly seeing you the way that you are right now, do you think that they would be proud of what they were seeing?  Would they be interested in hanging out with you, in dating you?  Chances are, the answer is no.
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Dear Elisabeth…I am in relationship with my boyfriend almost 8 years..We were very in love. But during these years he did to me something I couldn´t forgive him for many years..I were very much angry with him all these years..but I was also still in love. I think I was so angry that I was very often pushing him out of me without even noticing that. Yesterday he told me he does not know if he wants to be with me anymore. Because in last two years he was feeling very alone, told me I was not listeting. He was right. I have forgiven him already. But I did not notice I was behaving this way all these years. I am very sorry for that. Because I forgived and I love him all the time. I want him back. But he is not sure any more he loves me. He likes me very much. But he told me I destroyed the love in him. He does not leave in this moment. He told me he needs time. I told him I want to repair everything, I want to change. I do not want anymore to behave in this way. I did a big mistake and I am sure I can change. How to make him change his mind? How to let him find the love again? I know he likes me a lot..and that I am important for him. But it seems it is not enough anymore. Thanks

Hi. I was in a relationship with a guy for awhile but we split in 2008. Since then he has had a girlfriend and I think they still live together. I have dated since then but have been unsuccessful in finding that combustible chemistry that I had with him, with someone else. We would always reconnect on and off throughout the entire time we were broken up until last year. We both sort of faded and haven’t been in touch for about a year and 6 months now. We may not be meant to be together but I miss the initial friendship we had prior to us being in a relationship; we were so close and complimented each other well. I have let go, forgiven and accepted what was and what is but recently felt intense energy wanting him back in my life and it’s never been this intense since the first couple of months following the breakup. I have been single ever since, but have gone on plenty dates as I am never lacking suitors. I am no longer in love with him but I do still love him and miss his presence, chemistry, companionship and energy. I have accomplished many goals that I’ve set but there’s this void that has yet to be satisfied, which I’m afraid can only be fulfilled by him or someone/something similar. I’ve read that letting go will attract, which I have done but he hasn’t completely come back. I never pressure, I play it cool and may even come off passive. When we reconnect, I hide my hurt and heart and don’t mention getting back together because I feel we’re not at the point yet. I was his first girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend as well. I’ve given it space, time and room to breath as I trust in divine intervention as well as universal laws. I’ve thought happy and positive thoughts, I’ve even tried to create visuals in my mind but nada. What could be going on? I miss him a lot.
I also believe that out of nearly 7 billion people on this planet at this particular point and time in history, there is one person alive, living reasonably close to you – or planning to move there soon – who is the best possible match for you.  In other words, out of all the people who exist, there’s one person who is exactly who you’ve been waiting for, and to that person, you are exactly what he/she has waited for, too.
But again, theory, and real world application, are quite different, because of that good old resistance. Just wanting a great relationship isn't enough if you have a lot of blocks around allowing one in. You have to believe you can truly have one. When you think about meeting that perfect person for you, and it doesn't feel good, you have to examine that.
A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”
When I tell people that this is what it really means to believe in a law of attraction, they don't believe me. They say, that's ridiculous. We don't control everything in the universe. But you are a perfect example of the negative, blame the victim side of the LOA. I understand, appreciate, and respect that maintaining this perspective is consistent with your beliefs in the LOA. My personal belief is that this is not healthy for you, others with whom you connect, or for society in general.
Multi-sensory visualization. Take your creative visualization further and begin to spend longer daily sessions imagining every aspect of being with your soulmate. The stronger this mental image, the stronger the pull you will exert on them. Think not only about how they will look but also how they will sound, smell and feel. You might also try picturing significant moments in your life. For example, visualize events like sharing a bed for the first time, getting married or having children.
Step 1 is important because it prepares your mind and body to receive whatever you’re asking for. Our brains don’t know the difference between reality and imagination. When you engage in full, sensory imagination, your brain fires up your body to move forward. Muscles, blood flow, heart, lungs and every part of your body gear up to take part in whatever you’re imagining.

Athletics is a big part of the extra-curricular activities at Abundant Life Christian Academy.  Our elementary students participate in an organized basketball league, and beginning in 7th grade, students can participate in Basketball, Track & Field, Softball, and Cheer.  Baseball and Golf are also available for 9th-12th grade students.  We have competitive teams with student-athletes regularly earning All-Conference and All-State honors.


You should remain in a state of “as if” when using the Law of Attraction for a specific person. When you give attention to what is, you give it power to create more of what is. You should relax and allow your manifestation to occur, as you have always done. It’s a great way to create what you want and, as you release resistance and become more detached, you’ll be able to reach that state more easily.
It’s quite clear then that in order to succeed in life at any endeavor, we need to set specific goals. But, not only do they have to be specific, they have to be S.M.A.R.T.E.R. goals — goals that are specific, meaningful, achievable, relevant, and time-based. Those goals also need to be constantly evaluated and the plans re-adjusted in order to attain them.
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