Physical compatibility in a relationship need not always mean love. There are many versions of love, and romance and lust are two basic ones. True love includes commitment, trust, respect and contentment. If these things lack in a relationship, it is definitely not love. A lot of people justify physical violence with passion. Passion in a relationship is definitely a natural phenomenon, but there’s a thin line between being passionate and violent. If you find your partner being too harsh on you, both physically and emotionally, then it’s not love.


When I tell people that this is what it really means to believe in a law of attraction, they don't believe me. They say, that's ridiculous. We don't control everything in the universe. But you are a perfect example of the negative, blame the victim side of the LOA. I understand, appreciate, and respect that maintaining this perspective is consistent with your beliefs in the LOA. My personal belief is that this is not healthy for you, others with whom you connect, or for society in general.
"Abundant life" is a term used to refer to Christian teachings on fullness of life. It is not an organized movement or a unique doctrine, but a name applied to the teachings and expectations of the groups and people who follow the teachings. Abundant life teachings may include expectations of prosperity and health,[1] but may also include other forms of fullness of life when faced with adverse circumstances.[2]
In the New Thought philosophy, the Law of Attraction is the belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, people can bring positive or negative experiences into their life.[1][2] The belief is based on the idea that people and their thoughts are both made from "pure energy", and that through the process of "like energy attracting like energy" a person can improve their own health, wealth, and personal relationships.
It is a journey of ‘working on yourself’ so that you can arrive at a place of deeper intimacy as you open your heart, and share your unique gifts with your One. It is, in essence, a journey of transformation and growth where you become One – in consciousness – with the Love that you want to attract. Along this journey, you will find a new loving relationship with the person that you are becoming.
"One can work toward manifesting positive outcomes; however, there are always these statements: 'I want this but not that. I want this and that, and I want this, but if I cannot have this, I will settle for this.' These types of thoughts bring forth convoluted requests and results. Using the modifiers 'not, but, and, as well as, either/or' muck things up. The energies that guide us and assist us take the request that was uttered or written and manifest things literally (including those words). It just happens that way. I tell people to only state or write down what they want and to leave out the things they do not want. The use of modifiers often provides mixed results, which may not be what someone wants," Rappaport claims.
This brings us to something you need to completly avoid. If you have ever thought or said “I would be happier if I could find my other-half” you are noticing what you don’t have and guess how the law of attraction will respond? With more of the same!  Remember that any thoughts of negation can only bring more of that same situation into your life. This is no different when applying the law of attraction to love and relationships.
It’s ironic how I’ve already been doing these steps without knowing i was doing it..well i met my soulmate we are going through our challeging times. at first it was me i stop talking to him for six months gave no explanation i was healing from an abusive marriage had so many insecurities i began healing became whole. I was at a party had no idea i would ever see or talk to him again because i changed my number yes i saw him there i went to say something he was gone I was trying to think how will i talk or see him again I found his number we started talking again we have a deep connection but since i’ve healed i notice he has some healing to do from past marriage he was in yes 10 yrs ago he has not let go of what happened. Anyway we had a brief discussion he is holding on why i stop talking to him said when he wanted relationship i didn’t I explained it wasn’t I didn’t want one i had just gotten out of an abusive marriage i was in for 12 years he was shocked said i should have told him now he’s saying he’s not ready for a relationship right now his career i transitioning he’s deciding if he’s going to retire after 25 yrs of serving in military relationship too much. I expressed i understand since that conversation we have seen each other twice in unexpected places to see each other. I’m sharing this because i know without a doubt he’s my soulmate & i’m his soulmate actually when we first met he told me I was the one. I’m trust & believe in this love journey!! Thank you so much this is confirmation for me!!! Much love for you Gabriel
Thank so much chitownblu! You’re right that getting rid of resistance and attachment are key. Tapping works well for this. Also, remember to focus on what you want. You descussed that you’re aware your desire has not manifested. That’s living from a point of what is, not from what you want. You’re giving energy to creating more of what you don’t want by doing this. It could also be a factor in things not attracting your specific person as your vibration is closer to alignment with not being with him, than being with him.
However, I recognize that certain particular accomplishments tend to mean success to most people. These are: finding a job and a career that has status in our society and that brings with it enough financial reward that it is possible to live comfortably. This is the familiar picture of a house with a picket fence. The particular kind of work they will engage in will otherwise vary widely. Part of this success—in the eyes of most people—is a loving family, usually including children--and good friends. And having a place in the community.

"I'm not saying that's going to happen, but it could be something that does happen, because who they liked, the ex, was more likely the person that you were. When you start to become the best version of yourself, when you start to not live at the effect but you live at the cause, you have more of an ability to hold your own frame of reality. When you hold your own frame, doesn't mean you're egotistically going around and kind of demanding what happens, but when you're grounded in yourself, there's something that's very powerful about it, and you then become less reactive to other people, and that makes you more attractive, and that makes you more your actual self. The second tip that I want to give for you is understanding how to put yourself in the right energy state, and this is about understanding how we must condition ourselves to become that which we prefer, to then attract that which we want. As the most powerful technique that I have for this is being able to ...
I am so grateful I manifested this site/your book. I just read Manifesting Love and beginning first thing tomorrow I am going to intensely start the process of visualizing this guy into my life. The problem is he is a friend and although he talks to me and is friendly he has yet to make a move. I recently found out that he (31) may be dating a 23 year old girl who still lives at home with her parents. I know this girl and I would never want to get in the way of another’s relationship but I have such strong feelings for him. I just want him to start liking me. I also suffer from anxiety and depression which makes the negative feelings even more abundant. Do you have any tips for me? I really want to get this guy in the next 6 weeks. I appreciate any help I can get.
Banish guilt and feelings of self-doubt from your life and your internal world forever. No negotiation. I did it, and it worked like a dream. You have no more right or need to feel any more guilty than a butterfly. And like a butterfly, you are free to fly and celebrate your uniqueness today. You are ready for a life of awesome results and celebration. But are you ready to give yourself permission to do this yet?

2) The Second List: Deal Breakers. It’s now time get clear about what I call the ‘Deal Breakers’.  These are the ‘red lights’ that you want to watch out for when you start meeting people.  This is a smaller list where you identify at least three qualities that if this person were to exhibit, you would not engage in a relationship with them. In other words, the deal would be off.
Thank you for your comments. Hard to be positive when talking about the LOA. It's focus on blaming is pervasive. I am a positive psychologist and have proposed a new way of looking at attraction called the Principle of Attraction. As a Principle, like tends to attract like. Positive thoughts, feelings, actions, and words often attracts positivity...but not always. It's not a law, it's a principle, based on positive and social psychology.

This type of thing happens because we showed up, desperate, and without clarity about what we really wanted. The same applies to manifesting your Soulmate.  You already know what you DON’T want.  So let’s put the main focus on putting together a list of what you DO WANT that is in alignment with your core values and expresses what you want to experience and share in your new relationship.
I also believe that out of nearly 7 billion people on this planet at this particular point and time in history, there is one person alive, living reasonably close to you – or planning to move there soon – who is the best possible match for you.  In other words, out of all the people who exist, there’s one person who is exactly who you’ve been waiting for, and to that person, you are exactly what he/she has waited for, too.
Since you’re the only intender, this is entirely an internal conflict — within YOU. You’re holding the thought (the intention) for both people to want the same position. But you’re also thinking (intending) that only one can get it. So you’re intending competition. This whole situation is your creation. You believe in competition, so that’s what you manifest. Maybe you have some beliefs (thoughts and intentions) about who will get the promotion, in which case your expectations will manifest. But you may have a higher order belief that life is random, unfair, uncertain, etc., so in that case you may manifest a surprise because that’s what you’re intending.
There is no real risk to chasing your dreams. As far as I can tell, it’s a lot of fun and a thrilling journey. My experience with countless clients over many, many years, is that all the risk…all the frustration…and all the disappointment, is born from not chasing dreams. (But please remember, there is a way to chase dreams successfully which is like chasing butterflies. Put yourself in the right energy field, and become a magnet for those butterflies. The more direct method of butterfly catching is so much harder).
Your book says that one must let the person they love miss them. In my case, things are fine between us and we are great friends. I have no reason to avoid him or not talk to him. Then what is it that I can do to make him miss me? Also, is it really important to maintain distance for LOA to work? Can I continue talking to him everyday like I always have and still manifest an ideal relationship with him?
This means you won’t be able to find the love you have been yearning for from anyone. The thoughts that go through your mind are the ones that manifest in your life through your actions, emotions and attitude. If your tend to harbor negative thoughts that revolve around how lonely or depressed you are then that is the way you will be feeling in the end.

However, I recognize that certain particular accomplishments tend to mean success to most people. These are: finding a job and a career that has status in our society and that brings with it enough financial reward that it is possible to live comfortably. This is the familiar picture of a house with a picket fence. The particular kind of work they will engage in will otherwise vary widely. Part of this success—in the eyes of most people—is a loving family, usually including children--and good friends. And having a place in the community.
Before you begin to embark on the incredible journey towards true enlightenment in the Law of Attraction, it is important that you understand that you can apply it to your life and it can be effective if the correct tools are used. The practices and beliefs in this law have been igniting the lives of great individuals throughout the course of history.
The most powerfilled state is when you start living a through me life. And you can’t do that if you just keep make it about you, feeling lack. Start living for your purpose, to help others, and to give. Yes, you can still want the Audi R8 and collection of motorcycles like I do. But those are just things and they won’t truly make you happy. “Things” will be the by product of living a purpose filled life.
When you learn how to use the many powerful and practical tools associated with the Law of Attraction, you can start living and thinking in a more optimistic way that is specifically designed to attract even more positive events and experiences. Whatever you’re longing for, whatever your dreams and goals, the Law of Attraction can teach you valuable lessons that will bring you closer to your most treasured ambitions.
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Thank you for responding, but how do I find out where and when I went wrong? The person that I have been on and off with for ten years, how do I get that back on track with him without the resentment and just have a good family life. I will only allow myself to go but so far because my children comes first and that is partly his problem it’s like he wants me to love him but hate my kids or just want them to go away. Do I apply the LOA or do I let go and focus on my blessings which are my children and many other things?

Step 1: Essentially, you need to make the decision that you really want to attract this life partner. Then, truly commit to the idea of spending the rest of your life with this person. Making this commitment may involve processing old wounds (e.g. via journaling or therapy). Hopefully, the past can be left behind and you can opt to embrace hope instead of fear.


Be sure to include in this group only positive, trustworthy people with whom you can share this journey, and who can hold your vision with you.  And, be sure to exclude any friends or family members who are skeptical, negative, sarcastic and who can actually bring you down.  That’s the last thing you need! If you feel that you’d like my support as your coach, consider booking a session with me so I can provide you with my professional guidance.
I am so glad you found the post helpful. That is great that your faith in the ability to consciously create our reality is growing. As it does, you will see more and more ‘proof’, which will just reinforce that, setting of a wonderful cycle. Just always remember to be patient, and make your core focus feeling good about the work you are doing. Find content that resonates with you, and really focus on learning from those sources. That encounter with that person definitely shows you are moving towards what you want. Being able to truly be ourselves will make the process of attracting a relationship so much easier, you have no idea.
13) Placebo Effect: Placebos are inactive, ineffective substances to which a positive effect has been attributed. The greater your expectations and beliefs that something will be effective, the greater chance it has of creating a positive response. The mind is a powerful tool. We can increase or decrease our heart rate and blood pressure through visualization. A few individuals using a LOA have a firm belief that it will work and so it does. People tend to have more success with the LOA for smaller items for which they did not make a vision board; finding money on the street, getting a check in the mail, hearing from a long lost friend, etc. Is a belief in a law of attraction any better than rubbing a rabbit’s foot, tossing a coin in the fountain, or pulling apart a wishbone? Test it yourself, the answer is no!

Here’s the thing: you can only attract that to which you are a match, and if you are hiding who you really are, or are trying to construct some ‘perfect’ version of yourself you believe makes you more attractive as a potential mate, you will only attract other people who are putting up these same facades. You will never make any true connections—you’re being inauthentic and everyone you meet is being inauthentic, and eventually it will all come to the surface in some way. One of the reasons people struggle to meet the right person is because everyone is just walking around, faking it.


When we are really longing for a relationship, it is easy to let standards and boundaries go out the window. If you are looking for a guy, you may be willing to give anyone that floats into your orbit a chance.  Now, I am not saying not to be open to different people, because I think that is a good idea. Sometimes we can get too specific with the type of person we want to meet, and close off potential matches. Sometimes, what we think we want in a person is really something different, or not as important as we deem it now.
Maintaining a meager mindset will compromise a well-being. Otherwise, when we expand our mind with limitless possibilities those brick blocks begin to break down. Embrace believing anything is possible, the sky is the limit. In fact, you can break through that glass roof on the sky with your miraculous positive thoughts. Sadly, whenever we focus on the "lack of" we are creating a less-than reality. When we choose to monitor negative thoughts and switch our focus on being abundant and happy we will enjoy a luxurious and glorious reality.
3) The Third List: Your Gifts. The third list is, in my opinion, the most important one. Your soul mate will not be coming into your life to rescue you, make you happy, or save your life.  A soul mate is a friend and partner with whom you’ll be sharing your life.  Someone who will love, nurture and support you while you love, nurture and support them.  Someone who understands the power and beauty of a true soulmate union and will hold the space for love, even when you can’t.
Show gratitude. Write down all the things the Universe has given you. Be thankful for what you already have and be thankful for all the things the Universe has given you. The Universe has done a lot of things for us. Paying the Universe back with some gratitude will motivate the Universe to do even more things and will draw more things into your life. If you were once bullied and that person stopped, that's one thing to be thankful for. If the person you're crushing on likes you back, or doesn't but they didn't send their lover out to hurt you, that's another thing to thank the Universe for. You should also thank the Universe for this process too. Showing gratitude will turbo boost the Universe to manifest your request faster.
This book really resonated with me. My story is much different and as been a lot easier than that of Eric. Even with this being the case I learned so much about myself as I read this and the importance persistance and faith. This book is great for motivation. It is inspirational in many ways and at the same time entertaining. It is a quick read and in my opinion a must read!
My fiance and I had a very close knit relationship. As a matter of fact, we didn’t like being apart much at all. Unfortunately, life had us spend the last 8 months away from each other, because of work. It took its toll on the relationship which had already started to suffer because of financial reasons. And one day, almost out of the blue (well I could kind of feel it coming) , two days after telling me how he couldn’t wait to see me, and adored me, he sort of picked a fight, and broke up. From one day to the next, he completely closed the door on me. We went from constantly talking and missing each other, to nothing at all. I have been going through a very difficult time especially because I know that he didn’t break up because he didn’t love me, but he simply was not fulfilling his dreams fast enough because of our financial issues and felt that he had sacrified a lot for my ambition and put his on the backburner. We have had to speak a little because 5 years with someone, you can’t just go NC like that. Logistics had to be sorted out etc…. But he has become very cold all of a sudden, and I heard that it was the only way for him to get over it. He’s also moving to French Polynesia for 2 years. He says that moving forward and far away helps him deal with getting over us… In any case, our relationship was beautiful on the whole, but we simply had a break down in communication when it came to dealing with the pain of separation and money issues. I want him back of course and I will apply your advise from “Manifesting Love”. I know he is my soulmate as I am his. That much I know. However, he is moving so far away. I am going to be in the US and him in Tahiti. Do we even stand a chance? He could meet someone else, or just forget about me….I am lost. It’s only been 6 weeks and I am grieving. I don’t want someone better. I want him because we were something awesome. We just allowed fear to rule our lives….Need some TLC and encouragement :(… Thanks
In order to begin consciously creating your reality, begin believing that everything is vibration. Take some time out of your day, and sit and just attempt to visualise the vibrational nature of everything around you. Quiet your mind and really feel the vibration of the sounds and the air around you. Suspend any doubts you may have for just a few minutes and give it a go. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
In my youth I was a miserable student and rarely did my homework. My fourth grade teacher once pulled me aside and let me have it. She said, “Talking to you is like talking down the drain; you don’t hear anything. You think you are going to make it through the rest of your life because you are charming. You think you don’t have to do all the work — but you do.” I remember looking up at her after this tirade and saying, “You think I’m charming?”

Hi Shona, If you want to successfully use the Law of Attraction for love for a specific person, you need to overcome your fear. Your thoughts and emotions create, so if you continue to be afraid, you will create the things that you fear – his cheating, his not wanting to commit, etc. Sometimes the easiest way to overcome fear is to think about the worst thing that would happen if things didn’t go the way you want them. Often, that worst fear isn’t all that bad, and it’s easy to then let the fear go. Other times, it might be necessary to use tapping or EFT to get rid of the fear.


Within days from now you can attract your true love…set up a business that will change the world…get a better job than what you ever imagined possible…start to reclaim your health…rediscover your confidence and connect with the bliss of your true purpose. I’ve seen it happen so many times to people I know and clients of mine. Accelerated learning is a choice that allows you to build all the beautiful, powerful beliefs which will get you there quickly.
Hi. I was in a relationship with a guy for awhile but we split in 2008. Since then he has had a girlfriend and I think they still live together. I have dated since then but have been unsuccessful in finding that combustible chemistry that I had with him, with someone else. We would always reconnect on and off throughout the entire time we were broken up until last year. We both sort of faded and haven’t been in touch for about a year and 6 months now. We may not be meant to be together but I miss the initial friendship we had prior to us being in a relationship; we were so close and complimented each other well. I have let go, forgiven and accepted what was and what is but recently felt intense energy wanting him back in my life and it’s never been this intense since the first couple of months following the breakup. I have been single ever since, but have gone on plenty dates as I am never lacking suitors. I am no longer in love with him but I do still love him and miss his presence, chemistry, companionship and energy. I have accomplished many goals that I’ve set but there’s this void that has yet to be satisfied, which I’m afraid can only be fulfilled by him or someone/something similar. I’ve read that letting go will attract, which I have done but he hasn’t completely come back. I never pressure, I play it cool and may even come off passive. When we reconnect, I hide my hurt and heart and don’t mention getting back together because I feel we’re not at the point yet. I was his first girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend as well. I’ve given it space, time and room to breath as I trust in divine intervention as well as universal laws. I’ve thought happy and positive thoughts, I’ve even tried to create visuals in my mind but nada. What could be going on? I miss him a lot.

Focus on understanding your part in this overall process, rather than feeling guilty or ashamed. Recognizing how your fears have manifested in your life does not mean that the bad things in your life are your fault. It simply means that the Law of Attraction has responded to the signal you sent out. Just acknowledge that the system works and your new awareness will guide you. No need to shame yourself or even feel responsible.
The Law of Attraction is not a new phenomenon, the theory behind its teachings has been around for ages. The release of the movie The Secret in 2006, based on Rhonda Byrne's book with the same name, created a media blitz that brought the teachings of the Law of Attraction to new heights, awakening thousands, if not millions, of people to this ancient truth.
1) I have had a rather bad break-up with my boyfriend. All in all, he wants to move on completely and says that while he loved me and cared about me at the time of the break-up he simply wasn’t happy anymore and wants to move on to a new city, life etc… We have so financial dealings together but he says he no longer wants to worry about it because keeping in touch about cash isn’t healthy and we both need to move on. He has made it clear that there is no way he would get back into a relationship with me. And of course, after being told this I wrote him an angry email giving him a piece of my mind. While I love him more than life itself and visualize us being together again I must say that I find it very difficult to imagine us together, based on the way he seems to feel (or not feel…) about me. How do I let go of thinking of the outcome when all I can do is think about him and that perhaps he will meet someone else soon, or already has etc….
If you are really struggling with relationships, there is something happening deep inside that is creating the outcomes you keep experiencing. You are getting something you want, you are protecting yourself from something you fear. You have some sort of image of yourself that deems you unworthy of love. Again, this may not vibe with your conscious mind, that is in a constant state of wanting happiness and good things. You are not cursed. You are not some horrible person that only deserves douches. You have the power to change this, if you are willing to do the inner work and take responsibility. And by responsibility, I don’t mean blame. Two very different energies there. One empowers us, and the other keeps us feeling terrible.
i have been trying to use law of attraction for some time now, specially when it comes to love because there is one specific person that i am in love. but somehow i am doing something wrong because things don’t manifest the way want… i don’t know what i’m doing wrong. i don’t know if it’s my energy that is negative, if it’s me that is not believing enough, if it’s the way i vizualise things… i even made a visualization board, i write and think about the things that i feel grateful for, every night i imagine myself with that person and that person feeling the same way for me as i do for him but it doesn’t seem to be working… this law of attraction process is very hard, how do i know what i’m doing wrong?

“I don’t see it manifesting” is where you’re going wrong. You’re focusing on what you see around you. Stop looking at your reality like it is and start seeing it how you want to be. So long as you focus on your reality, your thoughts are filled with your current reality, and that’s what you are creating – more evidence of not being with him. Simply put, you are not at one with your desire. You have to change your thoughts. You need to be able to relax and let go. You need to make sure you aren’t obsessing over things and trying to control the situation. You need to focus on raising your vibrational energy and doing things that make you feel joyful. This article on resistance might help you get clearer so you can attract a specific person.
Hi Shona, If you want to successfully use the Law of Attraction for love for a specific person, you need to overcome your fear. Your thoughts and emotions create, so if you continue to be afraid, you will create the things that you fear – his cheating, his not wanting to commit, etc. Sometimes the easiest way to overcome fear is to think about the worst thing that would happen if things didn’t go the way you want them. Often, that worst fear isn’t all that bad, and it’s easy to then let the fear go. Other times, it might be necessary to use tapping or EFT to get rid of the fear.
Of course, it is possible to make some broad generalizations. For starters, successful people tend to be good at what they do – although, even here, exceptions exist since some business people, for example, have been regarded as highly successful individuals while determinedly leading their companies down the road to ruin. Additionally, successful people are generally not lazy since becoming successful does require you to do something (even if turns out that you’re ultimately not that good at what that something is). I also happen to think – and it’s a controversial point – that a good dose of intelligence (even if it’s not traditional academic intelligence) does help quite a bit.
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