The degree of your self-acceptance will dictate the quality of your relationship. If you try to manifest a relationship when you're full of desperation and you have low self-esteem, you may indeed succeed, but the relationship will almost certainly be sub-par. You might drive your partner away, unconsciously cause drama in your relationship, or--more likely--attract a partner who is not good for you.
When you do find yourself meeting with someone, don’t pin all your hopes on this person being the ‘one.’ You really don’t even know him yet, and you have no idea if this person is really compatible with you, or is the type of person you would want to be with over the long-term. Sure, you can be excited, and look forward to it, but release any expectation around how things will play out. Work on getting yourself into a state of ‘surrender’ where you just accept what happens as it happens, knowing all the while, what you want is coming, even if you have no idea how that looks right now.
I understand your scepticism about the LOA as I am someone who is open minded about it. However, I kind of lost confidence in your arguments when you started to present basic premises about the LOA incorrectly. For example, the primary focus of the law of attraction is not about material wealth. It is about self development, self love and the journey to self completeness within the context of mindfulness and positive thinking. This is a premise that is widely used within peer researched clinical therapies as well as many religions. Proponents of the law of attraction do not campaign for everyone to achieve selfish material gain and wealth. I have not heard or read anyone, no matter what level in their LOA journey that they are at. Their point is about the power of a positive mindset, a principle I am very much a supporter of and as I said, this is not unique to the LOA.
Distance doesn’t matter when creating the relationship you want. It’s only an obstacle in your mind and will only have an effect if you allow it. The same techniques apply in a long-distance relationship. Just follow the techniques you already have and don’t worry about the distance. It really doesn’t matter – you’re the one who creates you’re reality, not the distance. The distance is just an aspect of your reality that you have created in the past. Your future is unwritten and waiting for you to create.
It’s important to understand that mindfulness isn’t about changing anything or trying to understand it. This is because the analytical and judgement aspects — our automatic reactions — are unhealthy and actually perpetuate the problem. It reinforces the connection in our brain between the action and the negative feeling. To release that connection, approach it without judgement. Let it be.
No 8: Find someone you can talk to. It’s lonely at the top, especially if you're at the top of a one-person business. Find someone – not an employee or spouse – with whom you can share business problems, ask advice, bounce off ideas. An experienced business colleague will help you keep your balance during the roller-coaster ride of setbacks and successes.
You don’t have to go out on dates with people you’re not interested in, nor try to do something that goes against your own values. Notice what things or people you are consciously or unconsciously drawn to. You might be lead into amazing, rewarding, or at the very least a growing experience! Be willing to trust that inner voice and be open to the mystery that comes from there.
Neil, I have never heard a so called "doctor" speak so unprofessionally. I'm sure you are aware of the certain psychology that enables some people to make certain remarks behind the safety of their computer? If not, you would do well to look it up. It is evident that you are feeling defensive enough about this subject to make such immature comments, very telling indeed.
Although we are naturally desirous of material things, as Christians our perspective on life must be revolutionized (Romans 12:2). Just as we become new creations when we come to Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), so must our understanding of “abundance” be transformed. True abundant life consists of an abundance of love, joy, peace, and the rest of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), not an abundance of “stuff.” It consists of life that is eternal, and, therefore, our interest is in the eternal, not the temporal. Paul admonishes us, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:2-3).
14. Solve your own problems. You’ll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you’ll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the co-founder of SONY, said it best: “You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others.” There’s also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: “A wise man keeps his own counsel.”
Success rate of 0.1%? Where'd you get that statistic? But whatever the actual number, your question is an invalid one. The law of gravity works 100% of the time, except we can fly planes, right? Yes, I know that sounds silly, but it's really to show you how silly YOUR question is because "LoA" works even "negatively" (put in quotations because human perception is what labels things as positive or negative when really, the universe is 'neutral' and things don't happen as a way to punish us... that's just ridiculous, it's not personal).
When it comes to love, people get disappointed when their dates don't meet their expectations and they don't see evidence that true love is coming. Out of disappointment or fear of being disappointed, they give up, never knowing what they missed. The key to the law of attraction is that once you are clear you desire something specific, you must commit to it for as long as it takes to manifest in your life.
As for manifestations that involve another person, you probably don’t want to put too much focus on that because we can’t create in another person’s reality. No matter what we do with our energy, it can’t ‘translate’ to someone else and make them do anything. Now, this isn’t to say that you can’t ever get back together with this person, as that may possibly be the best representation of the energy and feelings that you are trying to attract into your life–remember that no matter what we want, we are always after a feeling. What also happens sometimes is when we make changes in our own energy, we line up with different ‘versions’ of people, even if they have fundamentally stayed the same, and this can make it easier to get along with them,etc…
The first thing you need to do is take a step back. You’ve come a long way. You’ve been through a lot. You’re still standing. And you may not be happy but you know more. Widsom is gold. You have more than ever which means you have a clearer picture of what you want. Chances are what you put weight on and what you want today is different then say five years ago.
Hi Shona, If you want to successfully use the Law of Attraction for love for a specific person, you need to overcome your fear. Your thoughts and emotions create, so if you continue to be afraid, you will create the things that you fear – his cheating, his not wanting to commit, etc. Sometimes the easiest way to overcome fear is to think about the worst thing that would happen if things didn’t go the way you want them. Often, that worst fear isn’t all that bad, and it’s easy to then let the fear go. Other times, it might be necessary to use tapping or EFT to get rid of the fear.
2) I was told by some people who also follow the LOA methods that manifesting someone specific was not advisable because it was going against the wishes of that said person if that’s not what they wanted anymore. He’s made it very clear that it is not what he wants at all. Am I wrong for wanting the love of my life back and just be given a genuine chance to see if things could work again?
These are age-old adages. Sure to last generations upon generations to come. But, I wasn't just interested in his words. I was also keenly interested in his students. In fact, one in particular. Kevin Harrington, which many know from Shark Tank fame, is by far one of Ziglar's most successful students. While Ziglar mentored many, Harrington has taken that knowledge and created a proverbial empire with it.
It's curious that people who believe in a LOA are critical of those who don't and believe them to be close-minded. I have presented a lot of new data such as the erroneous science and the data showing that acting as though you had already accomplished your goals was detrimental to you doing so. Yet, LOA proponents do not look at this with an open mind and reconsider their belief system. In this way LOA is akin to a faith-based religion, except that religious beliefs can't be disproven.
When you protect yourself from disappointment, loneliness, heartache and failure, you often deny yourself the thing that you want the most. You swap risk for unhappiness. If you’re searching for love, for instance, you need to allow yourself to go on the journey. Someone out there is searching for you just as desperately as you’re searching for them. Maybe you already know them? Maybe they’re about to walk into your life (through the power of the law of attraction) just as soon as you make yourself energetically ready for them?
The point is, you can go through any personal development program in history. Any of the great books “The Secret” and “Think and Grow Rich”. An Anthony Robbins program. The real masters all understand the same secret. It’s not just the tools and techniques that make a difference. It’s showing people how to open a channel to abundance that really counts.
Maintaining a meager mindset will compromise a well-being. Otherwise, when we expand our mind with limitless possibilities those brick blocks begin to break down. Embrace believing anything is possible, the sky is the limit. In fact, you can break through that glass roof on the sky with your miraculous positive thoughts. Sadly, whenever we focus on the "lack of" we are creating a less-than reality. When we choose to monitor negative thoughts and switch our focus on being abundant and happy we will enjoy a luxurious and glorious reality.
If you’re practicing these techniques with something simple, it’s time to take action and expect your results. If you’re using the system to find great parking, get in your car and drive to that parking spot with the full intention and expectation of finding it clear for you. Announce it out loud. “That parking spot is clear for me. I am parking in the spot that is open for me.” Again, we are fully aware that this seems really silly, but it’s a critical step.
I have studied this subject matter quite diligently over the last year or so. I can honestly say that "Secrets of Success" by Sandra Anne Taylor offers ideas that will undoubtedly help you re-establish a life of blissful manifestation...and I say re-establish because we obviously all took our first breath in this state and then were quickly conditioned out of it by our teachers, parents and society. This is a book that I will definitely read more than once.
No. 11: Finally and most importantly, believe in what you do. When things get tough, as they inevitably do, it helps to be doing something you feel is important. What keeps me going is the belief that what I do makes a difference to others, and I’m fortunate that so many readers let me know I’ve made a difference to them. And that, in the end, may be the biggest reason of all for why I’m still here.
And this shows you are on the right path, but all too often we twist it. We lament those people that share the same interests as us, or with whom we had those great conversations, didn’t ask for our number. We feel bummed when that date we thought would be so great, turned out to be not the best match. We think we are still not getting what we want, or there is still something ‘wrong’ with us.
1) I have had a rather bad break-up with my boyfriend. All in all, he wants to move on completely and says that while he loved me and cared about me at the time of the break-up he simply wasn’t happy anymore and wants to move on to a new city, life etc… We have so financial dealings together but he says he no longer wants to worry about it because keeping in touch about cash isn’t healthy and we both need to move on. He has made it clear that there is no way he would get back into a relationship with me. And of course, after being told this I wrote him an angry email giving him a piece of my mind. While I love him more than life itself and visualize us being together again I must say that I find it very difficult to imagine us together, based on the way he seems to feel (or not feel…) about me. How do I let go of thinking of the outcome when all I can do is think about him and that perhaps he will meet someone else soon, or already has etc….
Just like you I have been reading and searching as much information related to this topic since I first heard of it years ago. I have fulfilled most if my goals and dreams. But guess what!! None of them are related to yachts, eating caviar, sipping champagne or waiting for a private jet to fly me to my private island. None of those are goals in my life and all of them except for the private island and the yet I have experienced and enjoyed without even having to be a tycoon.
Sure, you may have your fights, disagreements, etc.. I am not talking about creating some ‘perfect’ relationship where you never experience conflict or get annoyed by each other. I am talking about a relationship that feels right to the core, that doesn’t have all this ‘stuff’ in it that we really don’t want, but put up with because we think we have to.
With that said, the primary error of “The Secret” / law of attraction is its view, or lack thereof, of God. In the law of attraction, God, if He even exists, is nothing more than a universal energy force that we manipulate by our thoughts and feelings. The law of attraction assumes a pantheistic (God is everything) view of God. The Secret denies the ideas of a personal God (with thoughts, feelings, and emotions) and a sovereign God (omnipotent and omniscient, perfectly in control of everything). The core message of “The Secret” is that we are in control of our own destiny. God knows the truth to be very different, “…All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16). Nebuchadnezzar, the greatest king of ancient Babylon and a prime candidate for someone who would know “The Secret,” declared, “Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified Him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; His kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as He pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back His hand or say to Him: ‘What have you done?’” (Daniel 4:34-35).
You are welcome. You seem to already have that deeper knowing..now it is all about building that trust and working a bit with your mind to be more accepting of the beliefs and new reality you are looking to create. Everything that happens contains a lesson to strengthening our manifesting so whatever happened with that guy will be valuable in evaluating what is going on inside and moving forward with greater clarity.
Hi Elizabeth…I really appreciate you taking the time to answer all of our questions…no matter how big, small or repetitive…thank you for continuing to answer and being patient…we all are just trying to get it right…trying to find our happy place and manifest within it. I’ve been working on my energy everyday and learning to let go..even though he continues to pop up in my mind everyday, a couple of times a day. I’m not at all mad or hurt…just missing him…I smile and laugh when I think of him…and try my best to not let the missing him get in the way of the universe delivering my desires to me. But I would like to know if it is possible to manifest him or someone even better for Thanksgiving? I would love to have a great guy to accompany me for the holiday festivities and more! And how do I manifest faster? Thanks again in advance!
Imagine you’re having a dream. In that dream what exactly are YOU? Are YOU the physical dream character you identify with? No, of course not — that’s just your dream avatar. YOU are the dreamer. The entire dream occurs within your consciousness. All dream characters are projections of your dream thoughts, including your avatar. In fact, if you learn lucid dreaming, you can even switch avatars in your dream by possessing another character. In a lucid dream, you can do anything you believe you can.
In my youth I was a miserable student and rarely did my homework. My fourth grade teacher once pulled me aside and let me have it. She said, “Talking to you is like talking down the drain; you don’t hear anything. You think you are going to make it through the rest of your life because you are charming. You think you don’t have to do all the work — but you do.” I remember looking up at her after this tirade and saying, “You think I’m charming?”
In a book written by Mark McCormack entitled, What they don’t teach you at Harvard Business School, the author recounts a powerful study that was conducted on the graduating class of 1979. On graduation day, the researchers asked one specific question: “Have you set clear and written goals for your future and outlined a specific plan to accomplish them?”