Step 1: Essentially, you need to make the decision that you really want to attract this life partner. Then, truly commit to the idea of spending the rest of your life with this person. Making this commitment may involve processing old wounds (e.g. via journaling or therapy). Hopefully, the past can be left behind and you can opt to embrace hope instead of fear.
Focus on understanding your part in this overall process, rather than feeling guilty or ashamed. Recognizing how your fears have manifested in your life does not mean that the bad things in your life are your fault. It simply means that the Law of Attraction has responded to the signal you sent out. Just acknowledge that the system works and your new awareness will guide you. No need to shame yourself or even feel responsible.
The Law of Attraction has been popularized in the early 21st century by books and films such as The Secret. This 2006 film and the subsequent book use interviews with New Thought authors and speakers to explain the principles of the proposed metaphysical law that one can attract anything that one thinks about consistently. Writing for the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry, Mary Carmichael and Ben Radford wrote that "neither the film nor the book has any basis in scientific reality", and that its premise contains "an ugly flipside: if you have an accident or disease, it's your fault".
We could go back and forth for years about this since your beliefs are based on faith and mine are based on proven effectiveness. You have faith in a system that sometimes seems to work for you and when it doesn't you adapt your thinking to say, this is obviously good for me and that's why I'm attracting it. I would rather make my list of goals based on my values and principles and attain them in an inspired (by a more complete visualization method) in an action-based system where I am in control..
4) No Plan: If the best way for me to achieve my goals is to live as if I’ve already achieved them, then there is no reason to make further plans to do so! Making plans shows the universe that you doubt its ability and lack faith. Doubt is negative and you will then attract more negative and not get your desired item. In the book The Secret, Jack Canfield proposed, “Our job is not to figure out the how.” “…trust that the Universe will figure out how to manifest it.” Studies show that this way of thinking results in greater short term satisfaction, but less motivation and lower chance of achieving goals. Curious that Jack Canfield’s website sells a program to teach you how to make an “Action Plan.”
When I tell people that this is what it really means to believe in a law of attraction, they don't believe me. They say, that's ridiculous. We don't control everything in the universe. But you are a perfect example of the negative, blame the victim side of the LOA. I understand, appreciate, and respect that maintaining this perspective is consistent with your beliefs in the LOA. My personal belief is that this is not healthy for you, others with whom you connect, or for society in general.
It’s quite clear that success has nothing to do with our initial set of circumstances. Some of the most poor and disadvantaged people in the world have achieved the greatest successes of all time. Oprah Winfrey was born to a single mother on welfare and was physically and sexually abused as a child. J.K. Rowling was divorced, had a daughter, and was living on government assistance before publishing the first book in the Harry Potter series.