The human mind is wired to do whatever it takes to avoid pain in the short term, and not necessarily in the long term. It’s part of our survival instinct. It’s built into our DNA, and is also the foundation of the fight or flight response. We are always looking to avoid pain in the short term. If we were trying to avoid pain in the long term, do you think the same person would keep smoking, keep over-eating, keep gambling, or even keep drinking alcohol? Of course they wouldn’t.
The first article about this was in Psychology Today - “Throw Away Your Vision Board.” After a quarter million hits and much hate mail, I wanted to make sure that I had a thorough LOA understanding so I read every book from the originators of the law in the late 1800s and became a certified “Advanced Practitioner of the Law of Attraction” by one of the authors of "The Secret." I then wrote “Throw Away Your Vision Board 2.” This time the feedback was a little more positive. I recently published the book, Throw Away Your Vision Board: The Truth About the Law of Attraction. This article will summarize 14 reasons why there is no LOA.
While being battered always hurts, an important survival mechanism I’ve acquired over the years is to both thrive on rejections and hold on to compliments. Rejection enrages me, but that “I’ll show you!” feeling is an extremely powerful motivator. I’m at a point where I’m afraid that if I lose it I’ll stop working. On the flip side, there’s nothing like a meaningful compliment from someone you respect.
Deal-breaker items could include: if the person has some form of alcohol or substance addiction or abuse, if they are married or in another relationship, if they are physically or verbally abusive, and even if they smoke. For some people, smoking is not a big deal, but for me, I just can’t stand kissing someone after they’ve had a smoke, so I decided to include it in my deal-breaker list. What are your deal- breakers? All you need is three.
I know this isn’t easy. I know how hard it is. It’s why, when working with the Law of Attraction, it’s often best to say, “I want X or something better” or “I want a relationship with my boyfriend or someone better.” Because what if you could have someone better? What if you could be with someone who didn’t want to spend a day without you, let alone not be able to meet you every few days?
In 2006, the concept of the Law of Attraction gained a lot of renewed exposure with the release of the film The Secret (2006) which was then developed into a book of the same title in 2007. The movie and book gained widespread media coverage. Rhonda Byrne's book also has influenced the creation of an untitled fiction film based on The Secret, starring Katie Holmes. This was followed by a sequel, The Power in 2010 that talks about the law of attraction being the law of love.
How does a Soul Call work? Well, remember that everything in the Universe is first created on the inner plane of ideas and emotions before it materializes. There’s plenty of scientific research that has proven that people who are thousands of miles away can actually affect each other’s heartbeat and capacity to experience love simply by thinking loving thoughts about each other.
The thing is that there is no way to know for sure if another guy is gay or bi in most situations, so it's harder to casually meet a guy on the street or at some social function without possibly getting into an awkward situation when you try to feel him out. This means that the options that are left to us can be...less wholesome situations. Combine that with the naturally high sex drive of a male, then multiply that by two and...well, you know how it is.
"I'm not saying that's going to happen, but it could be something that does happen, because who they liked, the ex, was more likely the person that you were. When you start to become the best version of yourself, when you start to not live at the effect but you live at the cause, you have more of an ability to hold your own frame of reality. When you hold your own frame, doesn't mean you're egotistically going around and kind of demanding what happens, but when you're grounded in yourself, there's something that's very powerful about it, and you then become less reactive to other people, and that makes you more attractive, and that makes you more your actual self. The second tip that I want to give for you is understanding how to put yourself in the right energy state, and this is about understanding how we must condition ourselves to become that which we prefer, to then attract that which we want. As the most powerful technique that I have for this is being able to ...
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share your experience with me. You are certainly on the right track with what you are doing, and you are certainly lining yourself up for an amazing relationship. That is where a lot of people struggle with LOA in general, and relationships in particular–it can be really hard to feel okay with how things are now when we want them to be different. Feeling okay with being single and feeling that fulfillment with life in the absence of that other person can be a challenge, but it is necessary to let in a GOOD relationship.
5. See the positive. Focus on the good things about the specific person you want the Law of Attraction to bring you. Look for something to appreciate. This can be tough if there are negative feelings between the two of you, and you might only be able to find one thing in the beginning, but if you keep working at it, it will get easier. If you’re in a relationship with the person already, you should start to see his/her behavior change and things start improving between the two of you.
Realize you will likely have smaller manifestations first that show you are lining up more with what you want, like noticing more people you find attractive, when before, you saw no one, meeting people that have desirable qualities that you note as being important in a partner, or seeing more people "like you" in happy relationships, whether they are overweight, divorced or whatever personal characteristic that you think makes finding love harder.
I was in a ten year relationship with my child’s father, but he was a cheater. Eventually I started seeing other people years down the line, mind you our relationship was up and down. Long story short I became pregnant with another’s man baby, which was hurtful to the both of us. I still felt a sense of this happening wasn’t all my fault I feel like he played a role as well. I used to beg him to get our relationship back on track for about three years so finally I gave up because of continuous cheating. Well finally last year we I thought we were getting somewhere and boom came to find out the cheating never stopped, well I left again to begin a new relationship which didn’t work out either plus here’s another baby on the way. Finally the guy that I was with for ten years we started seeing each other again during my pregnancy, but the catch is he wants me to give up baby for adoption. We were broken up for seven months and really I feel my child isn’t his business. Nonetheless, for some odd reason I still love and want to be with him, but if he can’t accept the children, then I have to depart from him. How do me and the children attract him for a positive family oriented relationship?
You can try for Thanksgiving, but be careful with using specific dates. Many people get so focused on the date that they allow fears and doubt to creep up. As the date gets closer, they start wondering why it hasn’t happened yet and worry that it isn’t working. They end up not manifesting it not working when if they had stayed the course, they may have been someone the very next day.
Now, suppose that you begin to get clear about the kind of person that your soulmate is. And you decide he or she is Abundant, Affectionate, Ambitious, Beautiful, Caring, Charismatic, Considerate, Creative, and so forth. Now, imagine that this person – who possess all of these wonderful qualities – was simultaneously looking back at you and secretly seeing you the way that you are right now, do you think that they would be proud of what they were seeing? Would they be interested in hanging out with you, in dating you? Chances are, the answer is no.
To add, he has been saying he has “something in the works” and I asked what he meant and he said it was a surprise but that is has to do with he and I and our love and that he knows it’s going to make me extremely happy. He never does anything for me, or buys me things so I’m having a hard time trying to imagine what this could be. I’m deep down hoping that maybe he could be talking about proposing to me. He said I should expect this “surprise” in one to two weeks. Is it possible for me to use the Law of Attraction to make this actually be a proposal?
Your book says that one must let the person they love miss them. In my case, things are fine between us and we are great friends. I have no reason to avoid him or not talk to him. Then what is it that I can do to make him miss me? Also, is it really important to maintain distance for LOA to work? Can I continue talking to him everyday like I always have and still manifest an ideal relationship with him?
Kelley Rosano is awesome. I love her podcasts. I listen to her on iTunes. I watch her on YouTube. I follow her blog. She inspires and lifts me up especially when I am feeling down. Love and the Law of Attraction is a powerful book. It is easy to read and understand. You can move through the chapters quickly and apply the message to improve your life. Kelley gives you the teaching. It is up to me to do the work and apply what is here. I am using the book to change my life for the better. And, I am seeing that I need to work on my attitude. Sometimes I can be negative and I complain a lot. This pushes people away from me. I am curbing my sarcasm. I am watching myself and changing my bad habits. This book teaches you how to create the space for real love to enter. I am noticing too that the more encouraging I am with others and myself that this is improving my relationships. I feel more attractive. When I feel more attractive, I then feel my dreams can come true. And, I too can have what I want, a great guy, a beautiful home and abundance. My intention is live the abundant life with my soul mate.
In this article, I will share with you a step-by-step process I put together for myself several years ago when I made the decision to open my heart and welcome love into my life. In my opinion, these steps make up what I believe is the most comprehensive, practical, spiritually based ‘how to’ advice on how to Manifest Love using the Law of Attraction and the Intelligence of your Heart.
If you are bemoaning your single status, and feeling like you are incomplete without a relationship, you are vibing "lack" and you will just get more of it. This doesn't mean giving up on the idea of having a relationship, it simply means, that if you want to manifest a relationship in order to feel whole and complete, you must find a way to feel whole and complete now.
Thank you for your comments. Hard to be positive when talking about the LOA. It's focus on blaming is pervasive. I am a positive psychologist and have proposed a new way of looking at attraction called the Principle of Attraction. As a Principle, like tends to attract like. Positive thoughts, feelings, actions, and words often attracts positivity...but not always. It's not a law, it's a principle, based on positive and social psychology.
Things happen faster when you let go and be patient. If you keep worrying about it, you are thinking about lack. if you let go of it, there's no resistance. What's there to block you? I like the example of gravity that Supernova gave us about the plane notion. we can still fly planes despite gravity. Otherwise without gravity we would keep ascending into the depths of space! The same way, you can attract nothing despite LoA actually attracting it for you.. Adding to this, there is still the force of gravity acting on the plane but the net resultant force is upwards. The same way, you think the law of attraction won't work for you but in fact it's the law of attraction giving you the stuff that is needed in order to change your mindset that it will not work for you and hence go to the default issue that many people have. You have the thought that it doesn't work for you. However, if you change that mindsetby looking for proof that it does, you will see that the law of attraction helps you MUCH MUCH MORE.
Hello Kelli! I just came across your blog and it’s perfect timing! I’ve set my intention of meeting my soul mate recently, tried to work on limiting beliefs and all that. Yesterday, I joined some meet-up and met some good people. But I was so disappointed about the fact that the guy who I was a bit attracted to didn’t seem interested in me and ask me out. Even though he was not the exact type that I wanted but I started thinking like ‘maybe I’m not attractive enough..’ The very next day, I came across your blog and I’m very grateful for that.
The 3% of the class that had both set written goals and created plans, were earning, on average, ten times as much as the other 97% of the class. Yes. You read that correctly. 10 times as much. This is an extraordinary difference. And other, more recent studies, have confirmed the same notion that you must set written goals with detailed plans if you want to succeed in life.